Anointed with Fire

Blessings from the Poor

2010-09-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

Psalm 41
Happy is the one who considers the poor and helpless. In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him; the Lord protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land; you do not give him up to the will of his enemies. The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health...

David believed that he received blessings for giving to the poor and helping the helpless. If David is in fact correct then the reaping list for giving to the poor (specifically) is an intense list. Protection, restored health, and good reputation...what about the new testament...

Matthew 25:34 and on
Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me.'...'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers or sisters, you did it to me.'

I'm pretty sure the poor have the potential to bless you than you could ever fathom. Eternal life is a reward of serving the poor. Don't get me wrong, salvation is not earned by doing these things, however they do speak heaps about a person's relationship with God. It's the "I'll show you my faith by works" James shpeal.

No matter how we look at this last verse...service to the poor does separate the saints from the sinners and we Christians would do well to remember it.

:) Another happy message from Noah

Wedding Plans and Purifying Water

2010-03-10T20:33:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted a blog in a while. I think you all know why, but I've been spending a lot of time with the love of my life, Amy Schilperoort. She's too amazing to describe in words, so you'll have to meet her one day. (Sure we all have our "growing edges," but suffice it to say that I love her a ton.) She reaches out to people with no agenda, except to love them a little and show them a piece of God's heart. She loves me unconditionally, even when I say something stupid or get angry and "go for a walk." My heart beats with hers when we speak of going overseas to hold orphans and love the poor. She isn't afraid of feeling and communicating those feelings. She hurts for the hurting, cries with the crying, and loves the least of the world. Her name stands for who she is...beloved. She is my beloved, and I am hers. Okay, okay...so I'm in love...blinded maybe...but in love none the less.

In a few days, I'll be planning our reception and songs, editing "Something Beautiful," so Amy can walk down the isle to it at the perfect time as her "daddy gives her away...something beautiful."

Purity is the essence of who my fiancee is. This brings me to my next update. After we are married on June 6th, we will be spending some quality time together...if you know what I mean...for a couple months, before we move to Minnesota to start a new life together. It's time for a move for this boy...back to his old stomping grounds. When I was last in Minnesota, I was eating knife fulls of peanut butter and running out to play in the snow without "proper dress." My parents would have to pull me back in when this happened...force me into my miniature snow suit, shove my boots and mittens on, mummify me in a scarf, top it off with a Bears stocking cap...that's right not a Vikings cap...a BEAR'S cap. I remember feeling the little orange ball of fluff above my head when I shook off snow after I tumbled down hills or wiped out on my sled. It was a joyous time.

Although returning to snow world will be fun for me, hopefully Amy will love it as much as I...but then again I'm crazy. I am voyaging back to learn about purifying water and wastewater. Master's or Ph.D in Environmental Engineering is still undecided at this point, but we will be continually reevaluating our living situation and working together to survive the cold winter nights... Anywho, we are both excited about the move and ready for a new adventure. I'll make this short and sweet...any questions?

Blinded by Love

2009-12-13T06:36:00.000-08:00

In all of my few years on earth, I have never learned to love as much as I have in the past four months of living. I'm not used to it. I've never loved any human as much as I've loved Amy, besides Jesus. I admit to being blinded by love. I'm not blinded from God, but instead blinded by this intense love that only my Father could give me. He is the one who should be glorified. I am so thankful for Him...that He chose to be blinded to my sin, that I might live the life Jesus deserved. Is it a bad thing...I think not...if I was blinded by anything, I pray that it would be love.

I visited Amy's family up in the Seattle area during Thanksgiving break. They are truly a group full of character, personality, but most importantly love. I could see the love in Amy's grandpa's eyes as he spoke of a young man who came to know the Lord under his watch in Young Life and in her grandma's service to our stomachs and tastebuds :). (I could also see the love for her sons as if it were an aura about her.) The trip wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for the kindness of Uncle Kris and Aunt Mindy and their family. We were fortunate to have stayed in their house for a couple nights and spend eat a delicious thanksgiving meal with them. It was also a pleasure to stay with Uncle Chad and Aunt Evon and attend their church on Sunday morning before we left. Jake and Ashley escorted us around Seattle, to a beautiful waterfall and up to a mountain to play in the snow :). As they spoke of the youth they hang out with, I could tell they too loved the students they minister to. During the trip I felt like God ripped open another chamber in my heart and made it bigger than before so I could love Amy's family as well. I hope to go back one day to learn more about love from them.

Jesus was blinded by love...He chose to be blinded by it...but He was blinded by it. Because of His love for people, He overlooked their transgressions when they believed in Him. Jesus even loved the Pharisees and Sadducees, the ones who eventually crucified my Lord. He loved them so much, He spoke not one word against His accusers as they led Him to the cross. His extreme grace provided for us a place to rest. If we learn one thing from Jesus, let us learn to overlook the sin of others, let us learn to forgive and forget (as far as the east is from the west, He has cast our sins and trespasses), let us learn the meaning of agape. I find that the more you love, the more Satan attacks because that is His number one enemy. Love destroys hell. And now, my analysis of 1st Corinthians 13...

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."
If I can preach a storm and lead a million people to Christ through Crusades, but do not have love for those people...I have done nothing for Christ. If I speak as if spoken by God Himself, but do not show love to the people I'm speaking to, my voice has become an annoyance to those around me, a sound that is drowned out amidst my failure to love.

"If I have {the gift of} prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge;"
If I can tell you every sin you've ever committed, if I know every detail about your past, if I can tell you the deep hidden secrets that only you know, or if I can prophesy about your future, but do not have love...I am nothing.

"and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."
If I can pray for the sick and they are healed, stomp on devils and people are delivered, and believe for the lame to walk and the blind to see, I have done nothing for the kingdom of God. The reverse of this, of course, is that if you have love, then you are something and you have done something for the kingdom of God.

"And if I give all my possessions to feed {the poor,}"
If I sell all that I have, or even some of it, and do it without love from a joyful heart, to God, I have not given anything. (With the measure you give, it will be measured to you.) If I give my money to receive a tax write off with no love, I have only stolen from God.

"and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."
If I save the life of someone, or become a martyr for the cause of Christ, I have no reward in heaven if not done in love.

Love is patient, love is kind and not jealous; love does not brag, is not arrogant, and does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

So no matter what I do, if I do it in love I win. If I give a sandwich to a homeless guy and am patient as he tells me his life story and how he wound up on the street, then my giving was not in vain. Most of the time we learn to love from the least suspecting people or the people we don't like. When you forgive before a person asks forgiveness, you have loved.

God looks at the heart and the deepest things in our heart will be our presents or our coal. Love is based in the heart, the deeper it is found within us, the better off we are, as well as the people around us. Will I put off my childness and learn to love, or will I continue doing nothing for Christ because it is not in love? Back to my relationship with Amy.

God has ordained and setup this relationship...I know people say this same thing...and then they separate or get divorced after cheating on their spouse. Can I see my future...no, but I and convinced it is with Amy. I've prayed for years for my wife and have waited patiently for her. Now that I finally have a face to put to those prayers, the prayers make so much more sense. My poems for her make so much more sense. She a sign of love for me from my Father, as I am to her.

The night I knew she was mine, I was driving home and asked God. He responded by encouraging me in the victories and battles that I have fought during my 24 years of singleness and then said..."Go for it. She is my gift to you, she is precious and lovely, a priceless gem." I cried like a baby, I was undone, from that point on I knew she was mine, and I was hers. This relationship was started by God and will be controlled by Him, because He is in control of me. My life is laid down and I understand that I was bought for a price and my life is no longer my own. (I promise I'm not stealing her, I cannot steal what has been given.)

Some of my friends have chosen to rejoice with me, others...have not. I'm sad to see that people I have spent my life with not seeing the joy inside of me, but instead mocking my love for Amy or writing it off as a simple crush. I prayed specific prayers for her that have been answered through her. She is my match made in heaven and I do care who likes it, but those who don't like...tough. My second deepest conviction is that I am supposed to be with Amy for the rest of our lives. Thank you to those that rejoiced with me, who ever wants to join can still join...but as for the sarcastic, the mockers, and the pessimists...you still have a lot to learn about love and grace. Remember, we will be judged in the same manner as we judge others. Will we judge in favor or against. I cannot let those people take away my joy, for joy is a priceless gift not to be taken for granted. May love be with you always...it is a priceless quantity that should never be taken lightly.

A Love Story Unfolding...Part 1

2009-08-24T21:46:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in a land far far away...New Zealand that is...a girl named Amy the Beloved was born. She was one of a kind. Little did she know that three and a half years before, a boy was born named Robert Noah the Brave. Okay okay, so i'll get to the point. The following story is not for the light of heart, you might cry, you might be angry, you might like it, you might love it, but it's true, all of it.

Noah: When I first saw Amy it was in Chi Alpha, a Christian club on campus, and I thought to myself, "She's cute." But I was much too shy to say anything to her. God took her on her own journey away from me for a while. More of this story to come. I went on a journey to Moldova, Armenia, and Georgia. Amy had read these blogs, and she realized that she wanted to marry a guy that had the same heart as her. What I wrote stirred the dreams that God had place in her heart many years prior, but had sat idle for a while. A few months passed, and I came back.

Amy: I saw Noah again in January at chi alpha - he was wearing jeans, a north face fleece and his hair was done up. I thought to myself, "dang he looks cute!" and I told him I liked his hair :) at that point God was doing some serious renovating of my heart - calling out the direction he wanted me to move in (working with the poor etc). I had had an incredibly hard fall semester, and was looking forward to a new year - one of healing and restoration. I was committed to walking with the Lord and finding joy in my singleness. I knew I needed to be alone for a while, God had been calling me to that for about two years before I finally gave in :) I delved into my crazy semester of nursing, and didnt give noah much more thought until God caused us to spend a great deal of time together over spring break. Noah, being his absent minded self, forgot to tell us that there were computers in the chapel when we departed for mexico in march. Although he remembered, he realized they wouldnt fit in his car, so gave it no other thought and drove away. The thought of telling the other six vehicles didnt really cross his mind. oh dear. Nobody realized until Nate called on friday night when were in Yuma, asking if we picked up the computers. The decision was made that Noah and I would stay behind on saturday to wait for Nate, and help him smuggle the computers over. Noah was so not excited about the idea of me sticking around, but he had to deal with it. In fact, he barely talked to me on saturday. We did have fun discovering Food City however, which has the yummiest tamales and horchata ever. Aswell as driving around Yuma trying to find the library so I could get interent access and submit a homework assignment that was due. Noah still didn't talk to me, but I was persistant and asked him a million questions. I also tested his spanish. Finally he opened up a little, as we were waiting at the border.

Noah: So there we were, sitting at the border. Listening to Amy's heart for Mexico and orphans, I found myself wondering...but that was about it. I had other distractions...girl distractions at that time, and I didn't know where Amy was with relationships. So being the shy person that I was, I said very little. :( But it was for the best in terms of timing. So there we are at the border, praying that God would give us the green light to cross the border without a check... He didn't, we got a red light, which means we had to pull over and get checked. We had a ton of computers we were bringing in and no money for customs. The officers told me to open the trunk, and Amy and I looked at each other with wide eyes. "Uh-oh," we thought...then we prayed...hard. They saw all the computers and came back and asked what they were for. I told them we were going to an orphanage and they were for the kids. They walked away and talked with each other for a while...and then gave the go ahead. WE WERE FREE TO GO!!!! (They said we would have to pay next time, and told us to never do it again :)) After we arrived at the orphanage, Amy and I didn't see much of each other and I don't remember seeing her again until my birthday. Sometime between then, I realized that the girl I had liked was not for me at all. As I was talking with some friends at Dairy Queen, one of my friends, Michelle, mentioned that I "need someone smart, like Amy." I began to think about the possibility at this point, but I was not ready for a relationship, and neither was she.

On my birthday I called a lot of my friends and wanted to go on a treasure hunt. Not any normal treasure hunt, but one for special treasures that God wanted to touch and reach out to. A friend Justin came along, as well as Tim and Byron who cooked burritos to give to the homeless. Amy called me up as well and asked if she could tag along. I was definitely for her coming and glad she was willing to join in the festivities. We prayed before hand and got some clues from God. One of the clues was the name Steven, who we found, gave him a burrito, talked to him, and finally prayed for him. After I prayed for him, I was surprised to find that the prayer continued through Amy. Thus my interest in Amy grew from the Mexico smuggling incident. I've only known a handful of people who would step out like she did, and all of them were guys, until Amy. I was stunned, smiled to myself and we went on. God had given us another clue about a guy in a green hat, and we found him, gave him a burrito, and prayed for him. He started crying right there in the middle of the street, we blessed him, and he continue onward. It started to rain and we headed back to the cars. We stopped and gave the rest of the burritos to Church on the Street, a ministry to homeless people in Prescott. Then something horrible happened...well kind of...

A friend and I thought it would be fun to ride on the a ping pong table tied to the back of his car. Well it was fun, until I fell off and got severe lacerations on my arms. Amy tended to my wounds in Chi Alpha and helped me properly care for them. I found some amazing adhesive bandages that worked incredibly well thanks to her.

Amy: I thought he was ridiculous for "table surfing."

Noah: I felt really dumb at this point, but was glad to have Amy wrapping my bandages. Later in month, my best friend, Jeff, came up to visit. Amy and Kendra had mentioned they were going to the Grand Canyon at Chi Alpha. I saw a chance to get to know her more and mentioned I had never been to the Grand Canyon after 6 years of living in Arizona. She invited me to come along and we made plans to go. Jeff and I drove up separately from Amy and Kendra. We walked and talked down the Grand Canyon. We probably walked about a quarter of the way down and then went exploring. We at lunch and I photographed her and Kendra drinking their Martinelli's sparkling cider. Jeff and I hiked back up fairly quickly leaving Amy and Kendra in the dust. When we got to the top we decided to run back down and walk the rest of the way up with the girls. We arrived at the top, watched the sun set and went back to our cars. Amy was really tired and Kendra didn't feel comfortable driving. I actually really wanted to drive with Amy back to Prescott, so I volunteered and Kendra went with Jeff. It took me three sudden stops to realize that I was driving an automatic. We almost also hit an elk on the way back, but avoided it. Amy went to sleep and as I drove, every once and a while, I would steal a look at her being sure that she didn't see me. When I looked at her, I couldn't help but think that we'd be in this position again one day. I dropped her off.

Next, we went to a Hillsong concert down in Phoenix, I saw Amy worship and my interest grew more and more. Then I decided to start worshiping to and it was good. A week or two later, I remembered that Amy had mentioned she wanted to drive manual. I told her I would teach her and told her to come on over. We spent some time and she started to get the hang of it...definitely not ready to drive on the main roads though. She also helped clean our apartment, which I was very thankful for. At this point, I loved listening to her and decided to write a word of encouragement for her for the summer. I didn't want to just make something up, but I really felt like God was going to use the summer to refresh and restore her, and use her to do ministry in cool ways. At this point, I definitely liked her and wanted to get to know her more.

To the Ends of the Earth

2009-07-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

*Lyrics from Hillsong*
Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all you are

And I would give the world to tell your story
'Cause I know that you've called me
I know that you've called me
I've lost myself for good within your promise
And I won't hide it
I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go, to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

Why is it in certain circles of the church that the ends of the earth is only seen as overseas? Sometimes we don't realize that Jesus, who was in Israel, would have included your neighborhood in the ends of the earth. He would have considered your school or university as the ends of the earth. Native American Reservations need people to preach the gospel to them. There are Spanish-speaking people all over the United States who need a savior. Our universities are chuck full of internationals looking to receive a good education from colleges within the U.S. If you want to reach the nations, you first have to reach your own nation. If you want to reach a certain people, first you have to reach the people around you. Going to another country won't change who you are. Experiences in another country may change who you will become, but simply being in another country doesn't make you an evangelist, a preacher, or a pastor. I love the "missionaries" that I've met. What makes a good missionary? The truth is good missionaries are those that were faithful in their home country and a missionary to their own people. Do you want to be a "missionary" overseas...show God you can be a missionary right where you are... Let us check our hearts as well: Do we want to go overseas to escape our problems and fears, do we ONLY want to see the world and go on vacation, or to be used by God to preach the gospel to an unreached people. We are already at the ends of the earth, people who need an encounter with Jesus surround us...will we answer His call to go and preach the gospel to the ends of the earth? Everyone is a missionary...we are all on a mission...what's yours?

P.S. Thank you to all those who have been called by God to go to another country. I'm thankful that you're willing to give up everything. Go, Go, Go, but be faithful wherever you are.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord Part I

2009-07-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

For those called according to His purpose:
...is upon you, because...a reason for living and breathing God!
...He has anointed you...the call that is greater than you know!
...to bring good news to the afflicted...you were poor, but now you are rich!
...to bind up the brokenhearted...you were broken, but now you are fixed!
...to proclaim liberty to the captives...you were a slave, but now you are free!
...and freedom to the prisoners...you were a sinner, but now you are a saint!
...to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord...now is the time, what is your banner?
...and the day of vengeance of our God...Jesus is returning to judge, don't jump the gun!
...to comfort all who mourn...the whole world needs you...
...to grant those who mourn in Zion...the great exchange...
...giving them a garland instead of ashes...dust those ashes off...
...oil of gladness instead of mourning...what kind of oil is burning in you?
...a mantle of praise, instead of a spirit of fainting...what's your covering?
...so they will be called oaks of righteousness...do your roots go deep?
...a planting of the Lords...whose garden are you in?
...that He might be glorified...who is receiving the glory?
...then they will rebuild the ancient ruins...whose kingdom are you building?
...they will raise up the former devastations...are you up-lifting?
...they will repair the ruined cities...what's in your tool box?
...the desolation of many generations...what are you leaving for the next generation?

GRE Vocabulary Hates Me

2009-02-24T17:48:00.001-08:00

So, I've decided to write a pragmatic blog to help me study the vernacular of aristocrats. I will not recede at the thought of hours of memorizing and studying words. Nor will I disparage the diction so eagerly used by the few indigenous to "high society." I won't receive remittance for any of this hard work after I move on from my abode in humble Prescott, AZ. Although this is merely an ostensible reason, because all I really want for Christmas is a good score on the English portion of my GRE. For a long time I have pondered reasons why I should not study vocabulary, but they were all pure sophistry. In doing so I proscribed my own intelligence. I tricked myself into believing that my vocabulary encapsulated what I needed for further education. Yet the more I studied the GRE, the more I realized that my reasons for remaining inept were ersatz. This is not about putting on a spurious guise to show people I'm smart...that would but utterly nefarious...instead it's about actually having more than a semblance of understanding when really smart people talk to me. I could come up with some aphorism like "You know you've run into a wall when your head hurts" or "If lightning and thunder come at the same time, you might be dead," but instead I decided to take vocab by the horns and learn something new each day. So now I must have some viable impetus to delve further into this relationship with higher education. I promise not to use my words in vitriol but only to discuss matters of importance with professionals. I do not desire to leave behind some legacy for posterity, but instead to quench the roaring fire inside of me to do something of value in this world. I realize many of the sentences above are transliterated for sake of using up vocabulary words, but there's always more than one way to skin a cat. Now onto something disparate, like my degree. Really Space Physics is a misnomer, I really just have a physics degree with a little extra something something on the side. I learned very little about what scientists know as space physics. I have no subtext in this blog. My degree is not an augury, if it were I would have a job by now...although I hope to be vindicated through one of my job applications to show people that I am still capable of scientific activities. I would scream a long list of invectives right now that could surprise even the more unflappable of my audience, but it would be senseless and useless in the long run. You see our nation has been given a virulent retrovirus not proven to work, while stocks still scream help. My future job, or lack thereof, is tied into these screams for help and the retrovirus. Despite these worries, I have aplomb due to the fact that my God takes care of me regardless of my nations unprecedented callousness toward Him. And so here ends my first vocab blog...good bye and splendid night, over and out, Bob Noah Robert.

The Wilderness and Living in His Presence

2009-02-05T17:33:00.000-08:00

So I heard this the other day and realized that I had done this in the past...

When God brought Israel into the wilderness, I don't believe God intended them to stay wandering for 40 years. It was only a 40 day travel to the Jordan River...to the promised land that Israel was to inherit. Unfortunately, Israel complained, bickered, argued, and disobeyed God's voice. They thought they were being punished, yet God had provided for them each step of the way. They looked at their current circumstances and said, "God, this isn't blessing, this is a curse." So not realizing the truth about God, Israel fell into sin and disobedience. They didn't recognize that God is good and loved them.

The truth is that God was testing them...but He had a promise at the end of the testing. He had a reward at the end of the journey in the wilderness, but Israel didn't see the final result if they obeyed and trusted. When God brings us into the wilderness, He has promises and blessings for us to receive. The walk through the wilderness may seem like a dry time, but in reality God is right there with you as He was with Israel. I believe God intended them to walk the 40 day journey into the promised land. After all God never tests us beyond what he has taught us and never allows us to be tempted beyond what we can handle.

Along with this, I've been learning over the past few years to live continually in His presence. Let me explain what I mean. He is omnipresent, but that doesn't mean we always recognize He is near us or even in us for that matter. I long for the days, and they are getting closer, where not for one second do I lose my focus on God. I so want Him to be the center of my attention, and when that happens, my problems and issues, other people's problems and issues, and everything that the enemy throws at us will seem small in comparison. When friends come up to me with problems, I'll know what to say and the advice to give because I've been spending time with a God who cares about people. When I start become frustrated with people around me, I'll be able to push those thoughts out of my head and see what God loves about them. When I go to work, God can easily show me people who still need a savior and give me the words to say to people without hope. When I have fun with friends, I'll be able to use my gifts to build them up and encourage them to pursue God, while still having fun with them. I'll have times of utter sorrow when feeling God's heart for the lost and the broken, but I'll also have times of complete joy when I can sit with Him and talk about things.

I'm not there yet...maybe 60%...that's a D- I want to do better. God be my center of attention, so that I don't fall into deception and lies, but instead learn to trust you and believe in Your promises.

Relationships and Restoration

2009-01-28T10:33:00.000-08:00

I am so glad that my God is able to restore relationships especially when I don't know what to do.

Cool Story
I've been learning, as any Christian should be doing, to listen to God's voice. My problem is: "How do I know it's God's voice and not my own?" Well, you test it. We've been praying as youth leaders every Monday from 8-whenever for revival and God's love and power to be demonstrated in our church and community. We've met for three weeks now and it has all been a great blessing. A couple weeks ago, I was asking God for a Word for a young man. He gave it to me: "Broken relationship with parents" and that God was going to bring restoration. It turns out that the young man had a fine relationship with his parents and things were going well... "Dang it," I thought, missed You on that one, God. Well I prayed for him anyways, and at the end, he mentioned that his girlfriend who was a few yards away was struggling with her parents in relationship...

So I didn't miss the message, I just messed up the person. I limited myself to one person and that's not a good idea. Anywho, we went and prayed for her together, which would have been better than if I had just gone up to her and prayed for her by myself. Maybe God did have a plan after all. I didn't know either kid very well, but I knew God had a message for them that night. As we prayed for her, she started to cry and I know God did something deep within her that night. I even heard the Holy Spirit say, "You have saved her soul." I know only God saves, but God lives in me if I live in Him. He can save through me and I think that was what God was getting at. "How blessed are the feet of him who brings good news!!!" Amen. Good news was brought that I believe will bring restoration to a family. Maybe next time I'll get the person right.

By the way I have lots of other stories like this. For those of you who don't know, these are called "words of knowledge" 1 Cor. 12 for more info. I don't care too much what their called, I just know what God tells me and I have the choice to act on it, every time I do, I'm not disappointed in the results and neither are the recipients. God gives His people supernatural gifts so they can effectively build the church and expand the kingdom of God. We must use our spiritual gifts and not just our natural gifts. Every spirit-filled believer, someone who has been baptized in the Holy Spirit, not just in water, has been given gifts to work supernaturally. God never intended His church to work apart from Him...ooops starting to rant, sorry I'll get back on track.

The point is, God believes in restoring people, families, and their relationships. Our God's lovingkindness endures through out all generations and we are in the favorable year/season/time of the Lord. No longer do we have to follow the Law, but instead seek the one above the Law, God Himself. As we seek Him, we are changed into His image. I am so glad that God has chosen me to be a minister of His gospel, and I pray that I will continue to do it faithfully as I hear and obey His voice. I also pray that the testimonies that come forth will glorify Him as the author and every ounce of praise would go to Him. I could do nothing eternal apart from Him. Thanks God!!!

Wandering Nomads

2009-01-04T18:09:00.000-08:00

You know...sometimes I really want to just sit... To rest in one place for a while, to have a job that is secure, raise a family, get to know some life-time friends, and not have to think about how I'm going to pay for a new car or repair my old one. Some days I dream about traveling and going around the world...but other days, I just want to be in one place, a place I can call home. Some days I want to own a house and "settle" down. I guess I'm just sad that I'm going to leave Prescott. I've met so many amazing people here and part of my heart will always be with them...and it hurts when part of your heart is ripped out. Sometimes though I wish I had never met them, so it wouldn't be so hard to leave. I guess that's not fair though. We all have to move on eventually.

Unless a miracle happens and someone needs to hire a physicist in this small town of Arizona, I'll be moving. It could happen, but I doubt it. So a new adventure awaits, it may be a while, it may be tomorrow. I really don't know. I'm doing what I think God wants me to do, even though it's painful and crappy feeling. I wonder what the lesson will be this time...what things God will change and grow in me. I know I'll meet more awesome people where ever I go, but that doesn't comfort me a whole lot. I'm so glad that God's peace is with me. I think I'd have committed suicide if I had never known Him...but then again I wouldn't have developed as many relationships if I had never known Him. He takes away my worries and fears. He comforts my soul by just being there. Just knowing God is taking care of me wherever I am is comforting. Knowing that my next move is known by Him is amazing. The words: "BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS!!! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" echo in my heart...again and again. The depth of these words and the love concealed within them are more than enough to live on for eternity.

I guess I'm glad there is "Facebook", so I can keep in touch with people everywhere I've been...all over the world in fact. One of these friends recently won a missions trip. Everything is paid for. I know that God gave him this because it is exactly the region he felt God calling him to. He is an amazing man of God and will do fearless acts for the kingdom of God. You wouldn't understand unless you had been with me for the weeks in Moldova, Armenia, and Georgia. It was a God-is-real-and-alive moment when he received this trip. I can't wait to see what is in store for his life.

Do not tremble or be dismayed...my life is more important than a sparrow's and yet God takes care of the sparrows. I know He'll be with me wherever I go. I'm not afraid of new things, and I will be strong and courageous. I just hope I hear His voice and not my own. So I guess all in all...I don't really know what I'm going to end up doing, and I'm not sure it matters all that much. I think what really matters is that I ask and seek God in whatever I do. Following Him is more important than anything to me. I'm not the greatest at it yet, but I'm getting there. Maybe, God's given me the choice...instead of becoming a nuclear engineer...i could teach the next wave of nuclear engineers. I know I say lots of things about my plans and future...but you have to take them with a grain of salt...I'm searching and sometimes you can't always see what you're searching for, so you have to put a foot out and move.

More importantly though, I thank God for His supplying all my needs. I thank Him for speaking when I need to hear from Him. I thank Him for His grace, mercy, and love that surrounds me even when I step in the wrong direction. I do not boast about the future, because I can boast about God. He really is all I need. I can't express how much He loves people and how much Jesus did for all of us. Thank you Lord, for your will. Thank you that when I'm confused and frustrated...you're not.

Convoy Videos and Last Thoughts

2008-12-15T08:57:00.001-08:00

The first videos of many...check back later for more.

Training and Hurricane Ike Disaster Response

Flight to Moldova
Noah

Moldova: Chisinau and Mihaileni

Moldova: Sarata-Galbena

Moldova: Ascension

Moldova: Flood Relief and Home of Hope

Moldova: Straseni

So...

The trip is over...I'll never forget it. It really has changed my life. It was a season of pruning the fruitless branches in my life. It was a time of seeing myself and others the way God sees us. I have realized more of my purpose in life. But right now...I just want to talk about the people on the team that meant something to me...they were all great and I have come to love each of them.

Matt - Our coordinator and leader. A storyteller at heart, Matt has wisdom that most don't understand. He uses stories to speak of that wisdom. He is pure in heart and loves to see people grow in their relationship with Christ. He loves to have fun, but also knows how to get down to business. He is a God-seeker.

Claire - Our fearless leader :) Claire is quiet and gentle on the outside. On the inside she is a lover of God. She does her best at whatever comes her way. She is honest and pure in heart. She leads by serving and encouraging. She does well with what she is given and always seeks to do better. She doesn't give up, but continues to persevere. She is a God-chosen leader.

Chad - Second in command. Another fearless leader, Chad has been given many talents. He is a people-lover and realizes the kingdom of God is expanded by relationship. He is passionate and joyful in whatever he does and presses through adversity to see God's work done. He is faithful with what he is given. He has truly given his life to God to work through him and use him in whatever way possible. He has a incredibly strong character and God will use him in mighty ways.

Mikellah - The youngest girl on the trip, Mikellah seeks to know God more. She desires for people to see God and loves the hell right out of them. God has given and will continue to give her wisdom from above. She is great with kids and knows what it means "to become like a child to enter the kingdom of God." She is a lover of God as well and cares for others around her.

Chris - Mr. America...He has a great personality and a God-given joy. He loves to laugh with people and have fun. He knows how to get down to business and get the job dun... He has been tested through fire and proved himself to be a true lover of God. He has chosen God over the world and is eager to learn more about who God is. He loves people and is a peacemaker. He loves truth and justice and loves others as himself.

Karen - A teacher of the Word, Karen is honest and straight-forward. She puts others first and honors others above herself. She has wisdom from God and loves to share insights to others. She knows how to sacrifice for the kingdom of God...but even more important knows what it means to obey God. She desires earnestly to do whatever God wants her to do and doesn't hesitate to obey. She loves people even those that don't love her back. An amazing mother of the faith, she will be where God is...even to the ends of the earth.

Nathan - An intense man of God, Nathan knows the importance of service and obedience. He realizes that following God is the most important thing he can do in this life. He hears God and obeys. God is going to use him in amazing ways that most people will never see or hear about. His story is one of adventure and faith. He doesn't live by sight, but presses on to lay hold of the kingdom of God. He sees an army of a million and is ready to defeat them with his 10 men. He loves to have fun, but even more he loves God and will stop at nothing to see His will done on earth as it is in heaven.

Gabrielle - Gentle and quiet at times, but a warrior when the need arises, Gabi loves God with all her heart, soul, strength, and mind. She is strong and courageous, and instills that courage and strength into people around her. People are better off knowing her, and they see the Light in her eyes. She loves much, because of the mercy that God has shown her. She speaks the truth in love. Wild at heart, she loves adventure and understands pure religion is to take care of the widows and orphans in their distress. Nothing will stop her from pursuing her God-given purpose and passion.

Bracy - If I had to choose a favorite...Bracy Bean would be it. He reminds me of myself when I was seeking to find God. He has a great faith in God and won't give up until he finds Him. He is always willing to learn about Him, forever seeking to know Him, and will never get enough of Him. He is a man of God, persevering to see Christ formed in himself and others. He is serious about God, but knows how to have fun. He loves people by respecting them and serving them. He is yet another strong and courageous Christian, wild at heart but humble in spirit. Shout out!!!

Glori Ann - Gentle and loving, Glori Ann loves unashamedly. You can see the love of God in her eyes. God is her strength and she also knows what it takes "to become like a child to enter the kingdom." She possesses the faith of a child and sees many of the acts of God that others don't. She recognizes God in each and every situation and gives Him the glory. She is has a wonderful spirit and loves her God with all her being. She understands that she has nothing if she doesn't have Him. She has seen the healing power of God in her own life, and loves to testify of His great love for the world.

Zach - My prayer partner, Zach is encouraging and wise. God has given him wisdom from above and a great patience for people. He is authentic and sees the good in others and how God wants to use people. He understands the miracle working power of God and seeks to give God glory in everything he does. Zach is a God-chaser, anointed to preach the gospel of the Kingdom. He is a good friend, a great listener, and a wise counselor. He is willing to bear others burdens and puts others before himself. He knows the voice of God and loves to speak life into those around him. He loves people and is always excited to see Christ formed in other people.

Kisha - A girl after God's own heart, Kisha is a passionate lover of God. She loves God with everything she has. She loves people and is a great listener. She knows God's voice and obeys Him. She holds on to His promises and has faith in the most dire of circumstances. She is has a joyful and wonderful spirit. She loves to sing praises to her King and help others enter into His manifest presence. When she praises God, the kingdom comes. (You can feel it.) She has a pure heart, and loves to laugh. She is faithful and obedient, a lover of God and a light to the world.

Mike and Laura - An awesome couple who love God and are courageous. They are willing to go to the ends of the earth to see His kingdom advanced. Their faith is strong and their love is stronger. They have a love for people that hate them. They are funny, fun, and adventurous. When they are around, God can be seen on them. They are a light to the darkest parts of the world. No darkness dwells in them, but pure light invades the atmosphere around them.

Noah - Me, myself, and I. A God-chaser. He calls out the God-given goodness in people. Although easily frustrated, He has a desire to see God formed in people. He tries his best to love everyone. He understands the meaning to seek and find, ask and receive, and to knock and walk in. He is learning to control His zealous spirit and to communicate his heart to people in a way that doesn't come off as prideful. He knows his weaknesses, and is learning about his strengths. He hears the voice of God. He knows the kingdom is at hand. He seeks purity and is learning to love. He forgives and forgets, because God did the same for Him. He is thankful for all those who loved him in his stubbornness and hardness of heart. He is thankful for the people in his life that preach the gospel by living the gospel. He is thankful for all the people who have surrounded him and prayed for him.

I am grateful to my God for all the wonderful and amazing men and women who I have met on this trip. I am grateful to the missionaries that we were able to serve with.
God allowed me to meet some really cool people and get to know people that I may never see again. I will always keep them in my prayers and never cease to give thanks for them. They have all taught me important things, and I will draw upon their wisdom and knowledge in future circumstances. I could never describe this trip in words...so I won't try. Hopefully my blogs have expressed my heart and accurately portrayed this trip. I believe they have. Thank you again and God bless all of you abundantly.

As for my future...God has been speaking to me that I am a missionary wherever I am. I don't have to go half-way across the world to see Him work through me. I have decided to pursue a graduate degree in Nuclear Engineering. I don't know if it will work out, but I have a mind tuned to science and math. I just get it, where other people don't. It is a gift and I want to use it faithfully. I think nuclear energy is an important part of the world's future. I want to make a lot of money and give it away to people who need it more than myself. I love giving money away...maybe it's a power trip, but either way I love to give. Since my first trip to Mexico, I have had a desire to support and live for orphans. I will not always be a nuclear engineer. When I have paid off my loans and saved up enough to support myself and my wife (and maybe some children), I would like to go overseas and start/run/work for an orphanage. One thing this trip has made me realize is that I love people all around the world. I have felt called to Hispanics in the past, but that's only because I've been around them more than other people groups. Now that I've been around Moldovans, Armenians, and Georgians, I feel called to them as well. I don't understand my future all that much, but these are my plans and God will order my steps. I know that my future is in His hands. I trust that the desires that He has given me to serve orphans and widows will be fulfilled, whether by giving or serving. God is faithful. He is my strength and support in time of need. God bless you all and may God be your strong tower in time of trouble and need.

Life and love

2008-12-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

We just arrived back in the states last night. It was a long flight, I played chess, Caveman, and started reading God Chasers...a book about seeking and finding God. We wrapped up in Georgia with one last outreach to some refugees in a kindergarten. We left and spent our last day in Georgia exploring a castle and eating some really good Georgian food. Georgia is an amazing country. I'll always keep it in my prayers. This whole trip has been an excursion of discovery. I've been learning a lot lately...mostly about myself. So here are some thoughts...

While listening to a podcast from Kris Vallotton, I realized that I don't love myself all that much. I don't see myself as God sees me. I try to love others more than myself, not as myself. I think there's a reason Jesus didn't insert a more in his statement of the second greatest commandment. The truth is that it is hard to love others if you don't love yourself. It's also hard for you to accept the love of others if you don't think you deserve that love.

While listening to the podcast, my eyes were opened to the reality that I don't value my life as much as Jesus did. God paid for me with an invaluable act of mercy. He called me...and everyone else in the world...because He saw something in me that was worth dying for. He saw my potential and thinks I am amazing. He loves me with an everlasting love. When He looks at me now, He doesn't see my sin...He sees me, as He created me to be. He sees a new person who has been redeemed and is without sin...this is a statement hard to accept. God never intended man to be sinful...He created us in His own image...He created us for His joy. He created someone that He could love and give gifts to.

You can tell how much you love yourself by how you treat yourself. I don't treat myself like a child of God most of the time. I treat myself as a person who continously screws up and never does anything right. I say that "There is no good in me but God," but what I should be saying is "There WAS no good in me but good, but now God has made me new and is forming me into His image." It's hard for me to love myself. I have too much sin, I still have hate, bitterness, envy, jealousy, and all the other sins...or at least I see myself as having these sins. I often forget that I have been cleansed from my former sins. I don't live a victorious Christian life...I'm act like I'm in the wilderness, even though I've already crossed the Jordan and have entered the promised land. I've made the same mistake Isreal did. I forget the things that God has done in the past...the freedom that He gave me...the miracles that He has done, and the works that He has done through and for me.

I guess my prayer is that I would see myself as God sees me. I also pray that my self-esteem would not be swayed by the opinions and actions of people around me. So many times I view myself by what others think of me, when in reality what God thinks of me is the only opinion that really matters. And last of all, I pray that I would be able to accept the love of others. It's hard to accept love from others when you don't think you deserve it. I don't really know how to accept love from other people. I can barely accept God's love for me. I know He loves me, I've seen clear actions that He loves me, and yet sometimes I even refuse His love for me. Yet the whole Bible is so clear that God loves His people. God loves those who seek for Him. God loves people that want to know Him. So I'm convinced of God's love for me in my mind, but my heart is still accepting it. I think too much in many situations. I analyze everything, because that is how my mind works. Life would be so much more joyful and peaceful if I learned to control my analytical skills. I have faith that God will answer these prayers quickly. These are imperative for living abundantly and living the life that Jesus wants me to live.

Thank you for your support, thank you for your prayers, and most of all thank you for your love. You are all so amazing to me, I love you all with as much love I can muster. God bless you and may you know Him more and more as life goes on. Never give up seeking Him. He will reveal Himself to you in new ways. Until next time...adios.

P.S. I'll post some more pictures later...so check back if they aren't up.

The Rich Man

2008-11-27T22:03:00.000-08:00

We've been in Georgia for almost 2 weeks now and will be here for another 5 days or so. Our time here has actually been much more relaxed than at other places. Some days we wait until 1 or 2 pm to start working. Other days we wake up at 7:30 am. We have helped the Salvation Army with a church that had flooded and with unloading a few containers into their warehouse. We have partnered with them to distribute clothing, blankets, heaters, and other supplies to the IDPs (Internally displaced peoples). It's winter time and every week is a little cooler than the last one. But now I would like to take you on a little journey...one through Georgia...another through the gospels.

The house we stay in is like a resort compared to where we go during the day time. As we speed through the bumpy streets, cars cut around us nearly colliding head on with on coming trucks. You see so many apartment buildings throughout the city. Some apartments are nice inside...others look like they haven't been cleaned for years. Apartments costs have risen and are close to the same or more expensive than in the U.S. Life consists of necessities not luxuries. As we drive through the downtown, you see Gypsies wandering the streets to steal and beg money. One lady comes and knocks on our window for money. We drive onward to our destination without a second...maybe in my case, a third...thought. As we pull up to the distribution site, the locals start to gather around.

What thoughts are they thinking? I can only begin to imagine. Most seem rather thankful and warm...others just stare with blank faces. These families have lost homes, farms, family members, and their lives after Russia invaded three months ago. They've had nothing for a while now. Convoy of Hope has supplied the missionaries here with money to buy mattresses, blankets, pots, pans, mugs, silverware, heaters, propane stoves, and food. We are the hands that distribute. The government is quickly building new homes and places for these people to live. A whole new town has been created...a town of small white homes with red roofs. So we each grab our respective box/supplies and head into the kindergarten where the IDPs are staying until their homes are built. For this particular site they receive enough food to live and not much more. We promise to bring their children some fruit along with some more variety for their diet. They've been eating the same thing for each meal...for four months. I don't know how they cooked anything, we brought them pots and pans. Bare necessities. Feeling like I did nothing and knowing that I would never see these people again...another memory to be forgotten...I slipped back into the van. As we pull away...I wave to a small child. Maybe Mikellah got a picture of the boy. (Although I would have felt quite uneasy about taking a picture with a camera that was worth a few months of food in Georgia.) At first he just looks at me, but then smiles and lifts up his hand. "God help them..." are the only thoughts that I have. God loves the poor and afflicted, the sad and distraught, the sick and dying. Maybe it's easier for Him to reach these people. It's easier to see God when gold isn't surrounding you. We go off to another sight seeing adventure. 3300 year old cave civilization...cool. I wonder how the little boy's doing...I do hope we can bring him a banana soon, as I remember a little parentless boy devouring 3 or 4 bananas back in a Moldovan village.

And now for a change of stories...

Matthew 19:16-26 - "And someone came to Him (Jesus) and said, "Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?" And [Jesus] says to him, "Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments." Then he says to Him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "You shall not commit murder; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; honor your father and mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself." The young man says to Him, "All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?" Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property. And Jesus said to His disciples, "Truly I say to you, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God?" When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, "Then who can be saved?" And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Later, after Jesus had died on the cross...

Matthew 27:57-60 - "When it was evening, there came a RICH MAN from Arimathea, named Joseph, who himself had also become a disciple of Jesus. This man went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then Pilate ordered it to be given to him. And Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and laid it in his own tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock; and he rolled a large stone against the entrance of the tomb and went away."

Do I even have to go any farther? Sometimes the gospel of Jesus preaches itself. I did some research into the region where the first story took place...it took place very close to Jerusalem and Arimathea was a city fairly close to Jerusalem. Whether these two stories involve the same man or not, the point I'm trying to make is still clear. If this is the same man...what a cool example of God's grace. The man who walked away from Jesus is moved so much so that he returns to Jesus [dead though he was] and ends up giving his own grave to a man he barely knew. He had walked away distraught because of his wealth, but later realizes that there is more to life and donates his grave to bury Jesus.

Who is the better servant...the one who says he will do something and never does, or the one who says he won't but later ends up doing it. The later is obviously the correct answer. Although there is so much poverty in the world...so much devastation...so much tragedy...the rich get richer...the poor get poorer...the starving die...the sick suffer...and on and on and on, I must confess God's love to the poor, but also to the rich. Jesus says that without God a rich man cannot enter the kingdom...but neither can a poor man. Jesus said it himself, "I am the way, the truth, and the light, no man can come to the Father [who is in the kingdom by the way] but through ME!!!" God loves the rich...he loves the poor...he loves me...he loves you.

I hear so many Christians complain about rich people and how greedy they are, but God still loves them. God loved Hitler. Unfortunately, I don't think Hitler loved God. Did you know that all things are possible with God? Yes, God even loves Barack Obama...God even loves democrats and liberals. It's time for the church to start loving what God loves and stop criticizing others for building up their own wealth. I've decided that I can't make a decision for another person...the only one I can make a decision for is myself. I alone can choose whether to donate my money instead of buying a brand new car. I alone can choose whether to help at the soup kitchen on weekends instead of watching a movie. And yet...these things will never get me into heaven, but I do it because Jesus did it. I do these things not to prove that I'm a good person...I'm not...I know sometimes I come off self-righteous...but I know my place. I am a changed person...I used to be very selfish...now I'm only a little selfish :) but really, I understand that I own nothing on this earth. I understand that I am but a breath, a blade of grass, a grain of sand... My life is no longer my own...because if it were, I'd screw it up. But with God all things are possible. With God a rich man can enter the kingdom of God, with God the sick can be made well, with God the poor can be made rich (not necessarily moneywise). I'm not much, but God loves me. He loves me more than I know.

I often think about King Solomon and his one request for wisdom. If God offered me a no-holds-bar, what would I ask for? Solomon asked for wisdom...but that didn't get Him very far. When it boiled down to it...I would ask God to know the depth of His love. I would ask God to know the love that doesn't need a reward or to receive anything back. And so I did...He is faithful. I don't yet understand fully His love for mankind, but I'm starting to. Moreover, I'm starting to learn the lack of love that I possess for my fellow man and continually recognizing that to achieve what I want to achieve on this planet...I must have God with me. Let's do this God!

So the end of my version of this story...the rich man realizes that all he has is worthless unless he devotes it to God's purpose. He hears that Jesus, this man who told him about eternal life, has died. He decides to honor Jesus and step out to help in His burial. He donates his hand dug grave to show God that all he has is God's.

"No one of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions" (Luke 14:33)

Harsh...but Jesus said it. Have I given up all my possessions to Him...I guess I'll find out one day.

Diamonds and Diadems

2008-11-22T07:23:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been inspired lately to write on a subject, but today...oh boy...it's amazing what happens when you spend a little time with God.

James 1:2-4
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

This verse has helped me more than I know. As the apostle Paul has mentioned we are persecuted but not abandoned and struck down but not destroyed. Always having present in our bodies the dying of the Lord Jesus Christ so that His life might show all the more through us. I awake each morning with a reality that I wish were not a reality. Satan tempts me each morning with the thought, "God doesn't really exist does He?" For a while, I had chosen to believe this and fall into this temptation. But something happened, God revealed Himself to me so that I would no longer doubt. Yet every morning I am tempted with the same thought and each morning for the past two years or so I have chosen truth. And this not by my own self, but by the grace of God. Sometimes mornings it is harder than others, but despite my circumstances, I know God is real and living. Despite the mourning and tragedy that surrounds me, I know the truth that God is good and desires for all who mourn to be comforted (Isaiah 61:2).

Tangent: God knows what we've gone through and the things we will continue to go through, Jesus became our sin on the cross, He knows the pain sin causes and has the ability to free us. I heard something recently that shut me up..."Did you know that if you think you can't be free from sin until you die...then death is your savior and not Jesus." As a Christian, you have the living God dwelling inside of YOU and you have been set free from sin!!! I know this statement will not hold with some who read this...but I believe Paul reached the end of His race in His life on earth..."I have finished race" he put it. He knew his life was coming to an end, but he also knew that He had done everything He could for God. Was Paul perfect at this point...I don't know...but I do know that He was ready to see God and receive the crown that was laid up in heaven for him.

The way I see it: I'll pursue perfection even if not attainable in this lifetime...knowing that true perfection only dwells in God and God abides in me if I abide in Him. If you wait until death to see yourself transformed and perfected, then you missed what Jesus came to do...bring heaven to earth. Jesus came to set the oppressed free, to break the bonds of injustice, to cast sin as far as the east is from the west, to bring good news to the poor and afflicted, to bind up the broken-hearted, to help the blind to see and the lame to walk... Paul prayed for his brothers and sisters that they would be perfected in Christ. He prayed that he would be able to present them perfect before God. Perfection is the goal and it is only possible with God. End of Tangent.

Through this testing, it has been easier and easier to deny Satan. I know that this testing will one day come in handy when a bigger test comes along. God has mentioned to me many things about my future and to most people it would not seem like a future with hope, but as for me and my house...(okay maybe I don't have the "my house" part yet...but either way), I am excited about it. I'm ready to become the least of these to be able to give to the least of these, to become the scum of the earth, to be reviled and in return to bless, to be hungry and needy while feeding those that are the same, I'm ready to prophetically call out the Jesus in the people I meet, I'm ready to take the step of faith and indeed have already begun walking on water, I'm ready to take my sword and fight the good fight, I'm ready to love and not grow weary. Sometimes I hold myself back, but ya know...God sometimes holds me back too...and for my own safety...I want so much to take the world over and go everywhere to proclaim His name...but I'm not ready even if I say I am. It's not wise to fight a giant without training...even David had training to fight Goliath...David was trained in trusting the Lord. God does give me smaller trials and tests that train me to fight with the best of His soldiers and command armies in His name. I am being prepared to be led into a valley of darkness, and yet I know that this is where Jesus will shine the brightest in and through me. The trials that come now don't seem small...they sometimes seem unsurmountable...but God always helps me to the top. I consider it all joy. I really do because I see the joy that is to come. I see the crown of righteousness that lies at the end of the race. I see the outcome of my perseverance. I see the souls that come into the Kingdom because of my obedience to His voice. I see the saints who will be encouraged by the words of encouragement that God gives me. I see the healing that will result when I pray for a cripple and His leg is restored. I see the kingdom of heaven invading earth and taking ground in the hearts of the sons and daughters of God all over the world.
I take into account the present circumstances, but always keep in mind the outcome and that God works all things for the GOOD of those who love Him and who keep according to His word. I see that which is not seen...the very essence of faith.

A diamond is formed through great pressure and temperature...but it's end result is the most perfect thing the WORLD can produce. A structure unlike any other. A structure harder and stronger than any other substance in the world. It is beautiful and majestic. It is valuable and used in adornment of people. But if we look at it's contents...carbon. Carbon is one of the most highly available atoms in the world. Carbon dioxide...sugar...rocks...coal. But all these forms of carbon lacked something to produce a diamond. Carbon dioxide gave up being a diamond for the thrill of flying around as a gas in our atmosphere. Sugar gave up being a diamond to taste good and to be liked by most people. Rocks and dirt gave up being a diamond to just sit there and occasionally be used to build a house or be eaten by plants and digested by worms. But lets take a closer look at coal. Coal was on it's way to becoming a diamond...but it didn't quite hit the mark. It made it further than all the other forms of carbon, but never passed the pressure and temperature needed to become diamond. It didn't get deep enough in the earth's crust...it could have missed it by a few feet or a mile, but it missed it. I could go on and on with this little parable of science, but I think you get it. Many people never get past the tests to perfect them into diamonds while on earth. They are saved by God's grace but never fully grasp the concept of freedom which was the purpose for God's grace. Paul's prayer was that we would be perfect and complete lacking in nothing. This is impossible without God, but with God even the rich can enter the kingdom of God...even sugar can be turned into diamonds...even sinners can be perfected. God didn't offer me freedom so that I would be a slave again to sin. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. We are free...free indeed. Act like it.

This brings me to my next inspiration. We are diamonds in God's eyes. When God looks at us...He sees Jesus' name written on us. He sees clean and sinless saints...Christ in you, the hope of glory...and hope does not disappoint for the love of God has been poured out by the Holy Spirit who lives inside of us. When God gave us His Spirit, He gave us life and love. God can't look at one who believes in Him and think a condemning or judging thought about us. God can't judge Himself. We were bought with a price...that means we are valuable to Him. We have great value in Him...and as we start to realize that we are valuable...we cannot refuse to think of the value of others and the price that was paid for them.

Uh-oh-not-another-tangent Tangent: Christ came not to judge the world, but to save the world. Did you realize this? So many Christians are known for judgment and condemnation, yet Christians have not been given this ministry. The church body has been given the ministry of reconciliation, not the ministry of judgment. Judgment is easy, reconciliation takes effort. I can easily think of a thousand judgments for someone, before can think of an encouraging thought. We are priests of the new covenant. Priests had a few jobs in the old testament...two of which include standing in the gap for God's people and also delivering the Word of the Lord...the prophetic Word for the people of God. God's people include every living person on the earth. God created all of them...maybe they don't know it yet, but that's our job...to let them know that God came into the world to set them free from sin and death. Our job as priests and ministers of God (Isaiah 61) include delivering the prophetic word of God for people around us, whether believers or unbelievers. Our job is to speak the Words of God...to speak what God sees in them...to speak truth into their lives...to speak life into their lives...to show them how God sees them...as potential diamonds. Many are called but few are chosen...many carbon atoms exist...but only a few make it to diamond status. The way is hard and few find it, but the path is available to all. God's will is that everyone would come to know Him and be in heaven...but God's will doesn't always come to pass... Our job isn't to stand at the doorway to the kingdom and decides who gets in...our job is to go proclaim from the walls of the heavenly Jerusalem to proclaim from the rooftops that the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Our job was given to us in Mark 16:15-18. Jesus came to save and we have the same commission...realizing that not everyone will believe us.

But back to our value:
Isaiah 61:10-11
"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations."

We are the righteousness and praise that has sprung up. We are chosen instruments who God has chosen to work through. We have great and precious promises that require nothing but sitting before God and learning to hear His voice and obey it. "My sheep hear My voice," Jesus said. Sheep adhere to the voice of their shepherd. As the people of God, we must be able to individually hear God's voice. God's greatest desire is that His people would love Him. The presence of God is always around us, but it takes sitting with God to realize it. Who's fault is it if we don't recognize His presence? He's always with us...to the ends of the earth...never to leave us nor forsake us. One of God's greatest desires is to be at rest with His people...to sit with us and dwell inside of us. One of His greatest joys is when His people spend time with Him without any agenda or list of prayers to be spoken, but for the sole purpose of being with Him. Sometimes we need to "Just Be."
If we apply God's truth to this statement...knowing that we are new creations and in dwelt by the Holy Spirit, that we are sons and daughters of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords...seeing ourselves as the apple of God's eye...realizing that pleasing God is a lot easier than we think it is...recognizing that God already favors us and likes us as we are...adorning ourselves with the diadems that proves we are royalty in the eyes of our King and our Father...then to "just be" is a rather profound statement. Many times God wants us to rest in the shadow of His wings and just be who we were meant to be, a child of God. I've noticed that children can go to sleep easier when they're in the arms of someone who loves them. Make sure in all your toil and in the midst of your troubles that you are taking the time to just be in His presence and let Him love you without being distracted. In His presence there is fullness of joy and abiding in Him is the key to life and life abundant.

Isaiah 62:3 - "You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God."

Fun and Bearing Your Own Load

2008-10-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

With all seriousness...we know how to have fun on this trip. It's not all work and no play. We laugh a lot...most are inside jokes and wouldn't make much sense unless you were with us. We played some B-Ball with a 16-20 year old Moldovans. We beat them pretty well. Two nights later, we played some older Moldovans and they whooped up on us. It was fairly pathetic...but still fun. I scored 2 points in all the games, but then again I was focusing on not letting the other team get the ball...which I wasn't very good at.

But when I write, it's not always funny. Please don't think that we aren't having fun and enjoying our time here...we are. I like to write about certain things, especially about God...because He's the most amazing being ever. So more about God.

We had been delayed about a week in getting to Armenia. The flight was canceled, so we had to book a flight a week later. We have now been in Armenia for 2 weeks and in a week or so we will be headed to Georgia. Don't worry, we won't be in too much danger if any. Besides if you pray we will be fine, I'm convinced of it, your prayers matter. There is an article on the Convoy of Hope website about it.

Convoy of Hope Interns Going to Georgia

This has really been an amazing adventure, I know there is little I can do for the Kingdom at this point in my walk with God...but I am determined to do whatever I can. Each one of us has a load to bear...but it is not too much that we can not handle it. God knows what we can handle... Some people bear heavier loads than others. I think we need to keep this in mind as we make our way through this world. It is so easy to compare ourselves against others. "Well, I give more money to the poor than that person" or, the opposite, "Well, I don't give as much money as that person." Then we think that we are more or less special, or even to the extremes of God being able to use us more if we do more. I have seen God use the poor and the rich, the sad and the joyful, the content and the needy. God works through who He wants to work through. I want to submit that experience doesn't matter as much as we think it does. Grace is not based on experience, knowledge, leadership abilities, or other. Grace, God's undeserved favor, is based out of His overwhelming love for mankind. God's gifts are also based on grace. It's up to Him and who He created us to be. I hope someday I can be content with what God has created me to be and rest in that knowledge. I need to stop trying to be someone else and be who I am.

A few things I was created to bear:
Prayer for many people that I meet. God puts a lot of people on my heart and praying for all of them is not always easy, but I know it's my lot in life and I gladly accept it.

Living in all types of conditions. I can live with the poorest of the poor or the richest of the rich. The Apostle Paul wrote that he had become all things to all people, in order that He might win some for the kingdom of God. I crave to live a lifestyle where I can become whatever God wants me to be.

Love for humanity. I'm not talking the passing "I love you because you are good to me" kind of love. I'm talking about the "even though you hate me and beat me up the other day, I'm going to bring you a gift because I love you" type of love. This type of love is only given by God. In and of ourselves we cannot match God's love. There have been times that I've tapped into this type of love and each time it silences my thoughts and opens my mind to the pain and hurt in the lives of people around me. It opens me up to effectively help people. I've had crazy experience where I would feel God's love for someone, go talk to them and encourage them, and it turns out to be exactly what they needed for that moment. It's fun to encourage people and love them with asking for anything in return.

We flew from Odessa, Ukraine to Yerevan, Armenia after an 6 hour bus ride from Chisinau, Moldova. We arrived in Yerevan to meet Nick and Olivia Puccini at 2 in the morning. (Our flight was delayed 2 hours.) We are helping to jump start a program here called CHE (Community Health Evangelism/Education). The program equips community members for long-term development of local resources to increase physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health in communities all around the world. We spent a few days in training learning about the program. We will train some Yezdi village people in the ways of CHE beginning this week. While some are training the Yezdi's, the rest of us will be building water filters for the villages, in hopes that the community will accept it and use them. Clean water is one of the biggest problems in the world and these filters use a container and local sand and rock to filter 99.9% of bacteria and other nasty things out of the water. The filters don't filter chemicals, but in the mountains of Armenia, chemicals aren't too much of a problem.

We spent the last week in Vanadzoor, Armenia helping build some houses for Armenia citizens who were displaced after an earthquake struck the region 20 years ago. A few groups including ARTA (an Armenian relief agency) and Habitat for Humanity are working together to build around 16 houses a year. It's not much, but it helps. The houses are made of styrofoam lego blocks...not kidding. I won't be able to upload pictures for a while...maybe not until I get back home, but I will as soon as I can. It's really funny looking. But it works and they look pretty nice afterwards. We worked with a bunch of guys 16-50 years old. All of them smoked, some had offered one team member drugs (of course we declined), and they offered all of us some swigs of Vodka...Russian water. We declined, but we did take them up on their offer for coffee and tea. They make their coffee different hear. I bought a coffee grinder and a pot that they boil their coffee in. It'll be fun to use when I get back to the states. I'm running out of time and so many things to tell. I don't know when I'll have internet again, but I will try to get one more update out before the end our trip in Armenia. I will have so many stories to tell when I get home, there's no way I could write all of them down. Thanks for praying, reading, and I'll see you all soon. (2 months or so) Ta Ta for now.

The Blind, Home of Hope, and the Greatest of These

2008-10-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

Faith... (in Greek: pistis)
...conviction of the truth of something or belief.
"On Thursday night we attended a service at the church we've been working with in Straseni. I met a woman before the service named Tanya. She approached me and greeted me in Russian. Even with the language barrier, we were able to communicate. After the service she asked me (through a translator) to pray for physical and spiritual healing. The next morning, as the team prepared to meet for morning devotionals, she found me at the church. She was excited to let me know that God had already answered one of the prayer requests. God is incredible and never ceases to amaze me. I am in constant prayer for her and I know nothing is to great for God."
-Gabrielle Lutz, Convoy of Hope Intern

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen. Faith is believing for something that is bigger than yourself, knowing that something is true even though you can't see it. Evolutionists have faith that the world was created over billions of years. There is no evidence to prove such a theory right...it's just a reach into the depths of the universe to explain something that is bigger than ourselves. We come up with our theories, but provide very little evidence to back the theories up. We come up with excuses, but never solve the problem. Faith in God is knowing that God exists and knowing that He loves mankind. Faith in God is knowing that God has a plan for your life and is willing to work through you to accomplish His purpose. Faith is trusting God when it seems pointless to do so. Faith in Jesus Christ is salvation. Faith is being convicted of God's promises...

Psalm 103 - "And forget none of His benefits; who pardons all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from the pit; who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle...The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness...so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."

Faith is increased when you seek, because God likes to be found. Faith is increased when you ask, because God likes to answer prayers. Faith is increased when you knock, because God likes to open doors. If you don't have faith, it's because you haven't utilized the faith that God has given you. Jesus said, "To him who has, he will be given more in plentiful supply, but to him who doesn't have, even what he has will be taken from Him." Do you have faith...yes, maybe it's only a mustard seed. You water the seed by using your faith. Gabby's prayers were heard and a lady was healed.

We helped a local church in Straseni with an outreach to the blind of the community. I want God to reveal Himself to everyone, in whatever way He does it. I am willing to pray for blind eyes to be opened, spiritual or physical. I believe God does miracles, because Jesus did and God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He doesn't change. Did we see any blind eyes opened...no...am I disappointed...no. God was with us. One elderly lady came up to me and spoke through a translator, Sara, that it was very hard for them to live on the pension the government gives. The groceries we handed out that day were a source of life to them and they were grateful. The lady asked if I would pray for her and I did. She had tears in her eyes and then her husband came up. The husband was in the Battle of Stalingrad in WWII. This was one of the worst battles for the Soviets. I don't know much about the battle, but I know that men starved and died for their country. Sara told the man "Thank You" in Russian for serving in the war. The man broke into tears and I blessed Him in Romanian: "Dumnezeu sa te binecuvinteze." Though the blind may not see physically, on that day, they saw through spiritual eyes the kingdom of God come near them. Though our gifts will only last a little while, they have a chance for eternal life. I will still pray for blind eyes to be opened wherever I go...that those who lack faith would start to see the unseen God. It doesn't make sense to the world and to those who don't know God, but to us who know God, it makes perfect sense. Faith in Christ is the only way...Jesus said it himself, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through Me."

Hope... (in Greek - elpis)
...expectation of good.

"Human trafficking in Moldova is very real. The numbers are staggering and estimated to be in the hundreds of thousands. In the past, most trafficked Moldavians were taken to Europe. Now many are taken to Turkey and the Middle East where the demand has grown and anti-trafficking efforts have not yet taken root."
-Project Rescue Website

When I think about about the lives led by those who have been trafficked as objects of sexual abuse, I cannot stop tears from flowing. While working in the Home of Hope, prayer was my focus. Already three women have been referred to live in this home. The first women is 27, a twin and has one daughter and also is the caretaker for her niece, daughter of her twin. She was trafficked with her twin sister, who is still abroad. The second woman is 22 and has a two year old. She is one of several in her family who was trafficked. The third is 17 and was trafficked within Moldova. Do I know the exact situations that these girls have gone through...no...I cannot even begin to comprehend what they feel or how to pray for them. But what I do know is that they have a Savior who took every persons sin and pain upon himself...Jesus knows what they have gone through.

What could my prayers do for such a situation...but pray I did. "God, show your peace to these women and their children. Give them rest. Let peace be written on their hearts and minds, redeem their lives, give them renewed hope. Clothe them with white and show your love to them. Restore to them a hope that will not disappoint. Show them your love and that you value them. Give them sisters who will love them unconditionally and befriend them with deep relationships. Be with the workers who have given at least parts of their lives to help these women. Let the beds in this place be a place of comfort, rest, and peace...peace...peace...Give them peace, Lord."

When the Bible speaks of hope it means confident expectation of what will happen in the future. Hope that is seen is not hope at all. The hope that we have in Christ Jesus will not disappoint us. We have assurance of hope...assurance of salvation through our belief through Jesus Christ. Within the walls of this beautiful home, hope will find souls to feed. Hope will find lives to impact. Hope will give a new life to many seeking restoration.

Love... (in Greek - agape)
...unconditional love, exemplified in Christ dying for the sins of the world...loving your enemies and the people who mistreat you and call you all sorts of names...crazy, stupid, ignorant...I've been called them, even by my own family and even close friends...maybe not directly, but I've felt the sting of their thoughts and words. Despite this, I love them deeply, and nothing will ever change that. I only say this to show what true love is. Love covers hatred and violence, love covers malicious talk and careless words, and love that has no reason to love. I love my family and nothing will ever separate me from that love, because God is love. The greatest of these three, faith, hope, and love...is love. Without love it is impossible to please God...without any of these it is impossible to please God. We must have them all...possess them all. I try to ask myself the one question, what can I do today to love?

What are we going to do about the pain in the world? What are we going to do about the millions of women that are sex-slaves around the world? What are we going to do about the millions of orphans around the world? What are we going to do about the millions of hungry men and women in the world? There are solutions, there are ways to provide comfort to at least some. Don't focus on reaching the millions...focus on reaching the one that is within reach. Volunteer at your local soup kitchen...don't do it because you feel bad...do it from the love that is written on every person's heart. Talk to the "homeless" guy on the street and become his friend for a day. You might find that he's after more than just money. Visit the elderly and talk with them...they need comfort too. Stop hating your enemies and start showing them love even when it doesn't make sense...it's crazy...but it's kinda fun too.

Reach out to the one...TODAY!!! Don't wait until tomorrow. For if you wait until tomorrow, you'll never get there. But today, there is always something you can do.

God has been showing me new levels of compassion over the last year. It has involved a lot of loneliness and being by myself. People worry about me because I'm "secluded and distant", but they have no reason to worry. I am in a process of discovering God. I am in a process of discovering who God made me to be. I know compassion and love are two of the things that God has created me to be an example of. I'm not perfect, nor have I attained my purpose in life, but one thing I do...lay down those things that hinder me and forget them...I push on towards the goal that Christ has allowed me to achieve. I'm willing to bear this burden of compassion because it is easier and lighter than the yoke of sin and the world. Jesus already bore that yoke...the least I can do is have faith. The least I can do is hope. The least I can do is love as I would want to be loved. What is the least you can do?

Youth, Balloons, Floods, and Hope

2008-10-11T00:53:00.000-07:00

After the prayer meeting in Sarata-Galbena, we slept our first night on the air mattresses. They were actually fairly comfy, until the air slowly leaked out of mine, and the cold floor met my body. I figured out that I had not tightened the seal all the way. The next nights were better than the first night. But on to things that matter.

We started out Friday by packing bags for the outreach service on Saturday. We also went around with some local youth (16-29 year olds) and handed out fliers telling the people in the village about the free food and services that were going to be offered the next day. Our team is very good about building bridges with the local youth. We had a lot of fun with them and made friendships with them. Though we couldn't speak their language and only had a few interpreters, we were able to break past that barrier. We played some of their games. One involves having two rows of partners facing each other. It's hard to explain, but really fun. We also played a game with a belt and whipping each other...yea I know sounds really fun too. It actually was exciting. The youth made us dinner on one night and another night we bought "shishleek" (that's not the right spelling but it is how you say it) and the youth cooked it up for us. They were such an amazing group of young people. God is going to use them in really cool ways...that I'll probably never hear about until I get to heaven... Through an interpreter I encouraged them to be strong and courageous and reminded them of the story of Joshua's adventure into the promised land and how God will work for them as they serve and obey God.

During the outreach, I made balloon figures...okay well I tried to make balloon figures. I'm really good at making swords, so that's what I stuck with. I was the sword master for a few hours. Jesus says that if we give a cup of water even to children that we will not loose our reward in heaven. Though I wasn't handing out a cup of water, I was handing out a cup of happiness to them. (Wow that sounded really cheesy. By the way, the cheese I've had here so far is delicioso) I wonder if my reward in heaven will be a big ballon sword...although a real sword would be sweet too. (Of course I'm joking...but you never know.) It was a fun day. I learned some colors in Romanian...but I've forgotten them by now.

We also went to a little town south of Sarata-Galbena, named "Ascension" in English. Ascension is a small village of 300 people. There are actually some villages that are ghost towns where people just left because they couldn't survive there. We went to a service there and shared some teaching and testimonies. We went back the next day and went around to some local families to give them food. One lady was not in her right mind, and her son comes home drunk many times and beats her. In another home, a lady was taking care of a three children from 3-13 years old while their father is working in Moscow to provide them with a future. The mother died of cancer not too long ago and now they are living alone. We also met a homeless family that moves around the village on their horse and cart. The father is partially blind and has a hard time finding work. We prayed for them, I'm believing God for a miracle in their life. Moldova is thought to be the poorest country in Europe and the saddest country in the world...but I've seen joy in the churches here. It's practically the only place to find it. The pentecostal churches here are truly a light in the midst of darkness.

After our last day in Sarata-Galbena, we headed back to Chisinau for a half-day's rest. We then headed North to participate in some flood relief. It took us about 6 hours to get there...the roads in Moldova are bumpy and, therefore, slow. We arrived at the church late afternoon and started packing 500 bags full of groceries...each bag weighed well over 5 pounds. We worked well after dusk into the night. When we finished, we were all taken to our respective homes in pairs. I stayed with Zach in a one room suite. It was very nice and there are some pictures of it in the slideshow below. The heater/stove was fired up and it was very cozy and warm most of the night. I slept very well too. It reminded me of going to sleep by the fire on a Christmas Eve in Nebraska. We had some egg-stuffed peppers, bread and salami, a creme-filled chocolate dessert, cold chicken in chicken fat, watermelon, and rice with some kind of meat in it. The family we stayed with us set a feast before us. They put more food before us than they probably eat in a whole week. It was a rather humbling experience to know they cared so much about someone they couldn't understand or even knew for that matter. The people we have met are very hospitable and kind.

The next day we finished up bagging and loaded the bags into the vans. We arrived at the government building and handed out bags of groceries to the flood victims. Some of their houses were completely destroyed; others looked fine on the outside, but were destroyed on the inside. An evangelist shared the gospel before we gave the people their bags of groceries and a pair of furry flip-flops. (Yea I know...furry flip-flops?...well it's what we had.) They are useful in the houses. Everyone takes their shoes off before going into their houses. But it's always nice to have some house shoes to wear around. Many old ladies were there that could not carry the bags all the way home. I offered my guns a few times to carry their groceries.

There was one lady that I helped for a half mile or so. I didn't know how she would have made it with out me. My arms were getting tired by the end of the trek. Moldovan women are strong-willed. We stopped at a local market and the lady I helped told the clerk to give me a candy bar. The lady gave it to me and thanked me ("multsimesk") many times...gave me about 30 kisses on the cheek and I departed from the store, candy bar in hand. I felt bad taking the candy bar, because I didn't carry the bags to get something...I'm weird like that though. Anywho, the candy bar was well received by our group...especially the girls who like dark chocolate. By the time I got back it was time to leave.

We spent the rest of the night driving back...which was an interesting adventure. (We went a way that Sara (our "guide") had never taken.) The next day we went to the Home of Hope here to help setup some furniture, put up clocks and curtains, and till the ground for winter. It was a good day of labor and we got quite a bit done. We'll be going back there on Monday. The Home of Hope will be a home for Moldovan women who just got out of the horrific sex-slave trade industry that is secretly going on all over the world. Unfortunately no one really does anything about it. Project Rescue runs many such buildings in India and other places as well. We met the founders of Project Rescue while we were training...it's cool to be a small part of their story. Truly, this building will be a place of hope for ladies who need help recovering from their past experiences and trauma.

Well that's been the trip for the past two weeks. It's been amazing, although hard to take it all in at once, but amazing none-the-less. This was more of an informative blog...I'm all shared out from the last blog. Hopefully the pictures will add more.

Pursuit...

2008-10-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

After finishing up ministry in Mihaileni, we traveled to Sarata-Galbena, another village in Southern Moldova. We arrived Thursday afternoon. We attended a prayer meeting that night which was very cool. I'll write tomorrow on Sarata-Galbena and Flood Relief, but for now I need to break free from my experiences here and tell you what God has been tugging at my heart.

God absolutely loves talking with us. He loves it when we pour out our heart to Him. He loves when we come to Him for our needs and our complaints. He loves to listen to our voice. He treasures the moments when we cry before Him in troubled times and when we rejoice in praise before Him in joyous times. He loves to communicate with us in different ways. He speaks through His creation. I find the stars reveal His glory and beauty. He whispers through the leaves rustling in the trees. The wind breathes fresh life into us. The sun burns bright, reminding me of His fame and full authority over all the heavens and earth. He is everywhere. There is no place I can go to escape Him, save Sheol. But Sheol will not consume me. I have a God who loves me. I abide in Him and He in me. He is my Savior and my Friend. I am in love with Him. He desires for me to know Him just as I am fully known by Him. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. I cry to Him in the night...some nights are filled with tears...not necessarily tears of mourning...just out of realizing how much God loves me. I call to Him in the day, and He saves me from temptation. I am being consumed by His love. He is my strength, my strong tower, my refuge. In Him I delight. His commandments are continually before me. I treasure them as silver and gold. I love Him. His voice is what I seek. His greatness surrounds and fills my mind. I love Him. His presence is too much, but I can't get enough of it. Just to be with Him is my hope and expectation. Every waking moment I can't stop thinking about Him. I love Him.

I sound crazy to some of you out there...others identify completely with what I am writing.
"As the deer pants for water, so my soul pants for the Lord."

God wants more than a passing friendship with you. He knows you...He created you. He wants to speak with you. He wants you to seek for Him as treasure. He wants His people to cry out to Him in desperate need. He wants you to know Him...but we all have sin, like an ear plug, causing us to not hear His voice. Sin is bad...worse than most people know. It causes a disconnect with God. Thanks be to God for giving us the opportunity to draw near with full assurance of hope and the forgiveness of sins.

But remember this: Forgiveness, if not accepted, is useless. God sent His only Son to save the world, not to condemn it (John 3:17). He didn't create Hell for humans...He created Hell for Satan and Satan's angels. But those who commit sin deliberately follow Satan. All humans have sinned and fall short of God's standard. Thank you God for forgiving us through The Christ, Jesus. His love is unfathomable. He is willing to not remember your sin, to cast it as far as the east is from the west, He forgets it on purpose. He is God, He can do that. He knows the pain and suffering that other people have caused you. He knows the pain and suffering that you have caused. Yet He esteemed you higher than Himself...He died on a cross for you. He humbled Himself so that you could be with Him for eternity. He is the Lord of All. Every tongue will confess that God is alive and righteous. Every knee will bow to Him. But not everyone will be eternally in heaven.

Don't stop seeking Him once you "get saved." Continue seeking Him. The worst thing a Christian can do is say, "I know God." No one knows God fully. He is infinite. There is always more seeking to do. He wants you, not just your works of righteousness and goodness. He wants you, not just your charity. He wants to be your best friend. If you deny Him, He will deny you. If you confess Him before others, He will confess your name before the Father as a name written in the Book of Life. When you feel like you should spend some alone time with God, don't deny Him. Don't harden your hearts as Israel did. He is always speaking, always willing to listen, and always with you. Don't deny your king. SEEK, ASK, AND KNOCK...God will answer if you persevere and are open to Him. READ your Bible even if it is only one word that you read over and over again.

Don't lower the knowledge of God to a book though. He is so much more than a book. All the acts that Jesus did could not be contained in all the books in the world. Just think of the trinity together, God is so much more than a book. Reading the Bible is, I believe, one of the best ways to recognize the presence of God. Let the words ring in your heart and make music to your soul. Let the gracious Words of Life be sweet to your soul and healing to your body. Whether you're 85 or 3, God wants to meet with you on a continual basis. Knowing God is not work, it's life, it's the only necessary thing. All other things are scum next to knowing your Maker. For only in knowing your Creator will you find the truth and beauty in other things. The Pursuit of God is the greatest single challenge on earth to any man or woman. So I challenge you...to pursue Him even when you don't feel like it. Reach out to the stars and bring your complaints to Him. Reason with God, He loves you. Open your eyes to see God working around you and even through you. God says, "My people perish for lack of knowledge." He also cries out, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him/her ask of Me, for I give to all generously and without reproach, and I will give you wisdom. But ask with faith, believing I can do this for you. For if you have faith as a mustard seed and ask for wisdom, you will be granted the wisdom you ask for.

I know a lot of this was random thoughts, but this is what I think about when I stare off into space. I think about how much I need God and how much He loves me. I think about my friends and family who have yet to know the God I know. I thank Him for all of His blessings and ask Him to fill me every day with His words of life. I love Him...because He first loved me.

Hugging and Feeding Jesus in Mihaileni, Moldova

2008-09-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

A joyful church in the midst of a dead religion... The pentecostal church in Mihaileni is light in the midst of darkness and death. Literally. We visited a home where an elderly lady crippled from disease lay in her bed. She experiences extreme pain continuously in her legs. She weeps uncontrollably when we ask if we could pray with her. She insists that we be paid for our services... We pray for healing and release from the pain that she has...nothing happens immediately or even by the time we left. God may have not brought healing on that day, but He did bring a few people to comfort a very lonely lady, who has rarely been shown true love.

She has three children, two of whom are mentally retarded. The other child is in his 30's and married. That family takes care of the rest of their extended family. Can you know the poverty if you never experience it... my answer is no. As we leave the house, she wails in Romanian, some words, probably asking God to heal her and set her free from her misery. Maybe even cursing Him for treating her like this. Compassion strikes my eyes...a tear develops and drips down my cheek. As I type this, a river runs down my face...but that is common for me this past year...I asked God to give me new revelation on what love is. I asked Him for the ability to truly love. He has given it...and it's painful sometimes to love...to bear with one another...I feel the pain of the woman, and somehow God is still good. I think about Jesus and what He would have done. I hugged her, knowing that she was the least of these...a child of God. I still believe that Jesus will heal her...quickly.

We stopped by a house...a one-room shack...where three children live, a 13 year old brother, an 8 year old sister, and a 3 year old brother. The littlest one lies in his bed waiting for his siblings to return from school. He responds yes to the question if he is cold. He has no socks, and an over-sized flannel shirt. He hasn't eaten yet and it's almost noon. He devours 3 bananas, a cereal bar, and some gummy snacks. We play with him a little...he's smiling today...yesterday he didn't smile very much. They have a puppy that they clean and feed. I guess it provides a source of joy and comfort where little is to be had. The sister walks in about 30 minutes later. She can barely fake a smile as she sees us. The church will make sure they are okay and well fed...but we have to leave. Another prayer I can utter daily.

It makes me so mad sometimes when I see people like this in the world. I have an explanation why God allows these things to happen, but most people probably wouldn't like it. But I'm doing something about it. So many live around the world, and could give a flip about these people. I'm the hands of Jesus in this earth, and I'll do my best to live as He did...1 John 2. People in the church in Mihaileni didn't even know their were people in that desperate of a situation in their own village. Just think what we miss in America. It's so easy to live our lives in the church or home, completely void of recognizing any of the real needs of the community around us. We don't realize it, but pain surrounds us in America. Social, physical, emotional, and spiritual pain surrounds us, and Christians believe they are the answer, but tend to do nothing about it. You who are reading this and praying for me or have helped me go on this trip, are part of this trip and part, whether small or big, in serving the "least of these". How cool is it that today, you helped feed a hungry child in Moldova. Thank you.

I leave you with this quote from Jesus himself:

"Then the King will say to those on the right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'...The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to me.'"

The Plague, Catacombs, and Sarcophagi

2008-09-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Millions died from the Black Plague over 200 years ago in Vienna. We saw their bones yesterday. Luckily for us the bones aren’t infected…at least we hope not. Under St. Stephen’s Cathedral, we took a tour of the darker places of this church. Walking through the catacombs, the smell of death entangled your noses…not that it smelled putrid or disgusting…but you could tell it was not your average cemetery. The cemetery rested below the city of Vienna, and we actually walked through a chamber that was used as a bomb shelter in WWII. We literally saw thousands of dead people…whether it be their femur, ribs or skull. They stopped throwing people down there over two hundred years ago. No pictures could be taken there however, in respect of the dead. But we have lots of pictures of the church itself. In one of the rooms was a sarcophagus, which I have only seen in video games before. I didn’t spend much time looking at it, but it stuck in my mind. Jesus…a stone rolled away…a sarcophagus opened…a grave awakened…God waking the dead…resurrection life. All this death made me wonder as I’m sure it made the others wonder also.

I knew in my mind that these catacombs were to remind us about the walking dead in Moldova. Those who walk according to the flesh must die in their sins, but those who walk according to the Spirit will inherit eternal life. There are walking dead all around the world, but here we are in Moldova. It’s 10 PM EST and 6 AM here in Chisinau.
(Kishee - now) The walking dead surround us. Remnants of spirituality are spread across the city. Churches speckle the landscape screaming to be inhabited by tried and true believers of Jesus Christ. My prayer is that the Orthodox Church would know their God intimately and relationally, moreover, that they would be used to bring many Moldavians into a relationship with God. But here we are in the Pentacostal Union, believing and expectantly waiting that God will use us in powerful ways. I don’t limit my prayers to “God use us in powerful ways, if you want to.” I don’t believe faith emanates from that prayer. I pray God would use us in powerful ways…period…knowing that he hears my prayer that I have received what I have asked for. I don’t ask that we would be exalted into some hierarchy of spirituality…but that God would receive every speck of glory. “Glorify me, that I may glorify the father” is the way Jesus put it. We are indeed have become the righteousness of God…and He is able to more than all we can ask or imagine. If you’re out there reading this…pray that we would have the mustard seed of faith and the compassion that it takes for God to work.

As we flew into the airport, the sun beckoned us in, as if God was saying, “See my loved ones, shine my light on them, so that they may love me back.” It had been rather dreary in the previous weeks, a lot of drizzle and cold weather to be sure. My greatest fear for this trip is that we would only work in our own power, not His. That we would lean on our own understanding, not His. That we would deny our God, by living with a form of spirituality, but denying His power. If this happens, the people of this country will be no better off than before we arrived. But as Jonathan said to his armor bearer, “Perhaps God will work for us, for the Lord is not restrained to save by many or by few.” I like armor bearers response, “I am with you all the way, let’s do it.” Okay so I paraphrased that last part, but seriously, what faith in God! I would rather live an hour with faith in God that could cause mountains to move than 100 years of being rich and having everything I wanted. God…let’s do this thing!

Purpose and Practicality

2008-09-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

"Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me...truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me."

I'm leaving. Goodbye family and friends. I don't know how often I'll be able to update my blog, but will try to once a week. Please don't worry about my safety, pray for my safety. Don't worry about my health, pray that I would remain healthy. God will hear your prayers, because He loves you. Remember that you don't have to be across an ocean dealing with the poorest people in the world to be used of God. Most of you know that. Remember too the things that you do for your neighbor, you do for Jesus. Remember that the things you don't do for your neighbor, you don't do for Jesus. So next time you see someone in need, now that if you serve him, you serve Jesus. How cool is that? How cool is it that we get to serve the God of the universe and feed him when He's hungry? Wow...so that's what I'm doing and going to continue to do. I pray I would live with this kind of mindset from now on.

We all shared our testimonies today and I know one main purpose for me being here. God spoke very clearly to my spirit: "You're here because of your testimony." Simple as that. God's going to use my testimony to help people, to set people free, to encourage people, and whatever else He wants to do. He is the author of it, and He has the rights to it. I'm really excited to go. I can't tell you how excited I am...think volcano ready to burst...rumbling and about to pour out fire. God's going to do some really cool things and already has through our ministry down in the Hurricane Ike disaster area. Pray that I would be a consistent encouragement to everyone and not an annoyance. I don't want to be God...but want my mouth to utter His words...I am a temple of the Holy Spirit and desired to be used as such. Pray that I would be able to tap into the heart of God and tell of His great love in specific and practical ways. Thank you God you're truly amazing.

God Bless you all abundantly,

Noah/Bob

Hurricane Ike

2008-09-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

This is the house we've been staying at while in Springfield.

This is most of the group.

Myself at the Project Rescue headquarters. This is a ministry dedicated to rescuing and providing help for victims of the sex-slave trade industry all over the world.

Our intern room in the warehouse.

A truck they use to carry millions of pounds of goods all across the country to those in need.

Hey everyone,

The decision was made today that the interns for Convoy of Hope this fall are going to help out with the US Disaster Relief side of things in Texas after Hurricane Ike hits. We will likely be in the midst of destruction lest our God calms the Hurricane down. I have a feeling this could be a bad one. Pray for the protection of people on the Texas coast and up to 100 miles inland. Pray for the church, that they would step up and show compassion and the heart of Jesus through action. These are trying times, but also amazing opportunities for God to work through His people for His glory. Pray for the team's safety and that we would not kill each other on the trip out and back. It's going to be a long week.

Update:
We head out today...Sept 13, 2008. Destination: The gulf coast. Here are some pictures:

Heading into Houston...long traffic lines.

Ike flooded our road...

This wasn't very structurally sound anyways...

Love,
Noah

Starting out in Springfield

2008-09-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

I'm here...the internship officially started Thursday. Since then we have met our new family here as well as served the poor and needy in Republic, MO. A bunch of different churches worked together to feed and supply poor families with supplies and ways of support. Over 400 people were served that day...most had received word by fliers or door-to-door messengers, but some were just walking by and came to see what the fuss was about.

I love the fact that there was not only an Assembly of God Church, but Baptist, non-denominational, Lutheran, and others. It reminded me of Psalm 133 - How lovely is it when brothers dwell together in unity.

How awesome is it when a bunch of people put aside their differences and work together for the good of others...and in the name of Jesus for that matter! There were some major theological differences between these churches, but they worked together under a common bond...feed the hungry and support the broken-hearted. They found something they agreed on and worked with it. What would happen if the Church as a whole would do this more often...can you even imagine the blessing that God would give in such a momentous occasion. The group was only expecting 200 people or so, but 400 came. I'm telling you, we are to be of one mind as Christians. However, just because someone doesn't believe exactly to the tee what you believe doesn't mean God can't use them.

Just think, most Christians know prayer is important. So next time you run into some Christians that don't think the same way you do...find a common bond and work with it...don't judge them and walk away. Dwell in unity and don't argue with them...even if they try to argue with you. Seek peace and pursue it.

This trip is going to be amazing...it's been cool to meet all of my roommates and it's going to be a blast seeking, asking, and knocking with them. I am confident that the Father will meet all our needs according to the riches that are in Christ Jesus. Pray that we would take off our masks and be authentic, seek holiness, burn with compassion, and believe for His provision. Pray for our health and that God would protect us from all sicknesses so we would be able to do our jobs well. Also, we may go as a disaster response team to where ever Hurricane Ike hits on the gulf coast, depending on timing. Pray that Ike would calm down and for the people in it's path to have wisdom and get out if they end up needing to. Jesus didn't come to judge, but to save...John 3:17. I'm tired of these "prophets" prophesying destruction and judgement...when Jesus rebuked James and John for wanting to call down fire and consume the Jesus' opposition. How ridiculous! Anywho, God bless you all and pray for me.

If you have any prayer requests PLEASE email me at bob.hensley@gmail.com

In HIS Love,

Noah

Gone Fishin'

2008-08-28T09:37:00.001-07:00

Hello Friends,

I hope all is well with you, if it's not let me know so I can pray for you. Thank you to those of you that have supported me, I have received a little more than I asked God for - a little more than 5000. Thank you so much for your prayers as well. Please continue to pray for me. I'll start the internship in a week on Sept. 4. We will train and leave the country on Sept. 22 to Moldova. I am so excited about this trip.

I had a great time with my dad in Iowa and Missouri. We had a really good talk early in our trip. I believe that God used me and will continue to use me to speak to my dad and show him the love that the Father loves him with. We also got to go fishin' and I caught about a million fish, which was fun. I was fishing with two poles, but only one was in the water at a time, cause I was taking a fish of the other line. It was fun and I was blessed by the time I spent with my dad.

I've been learning a little about prayers of faith and also about just being with God. A few scriptures come to mind when I think about praying in faith.

Psalm 5:1-3 - "Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation [groaning]. Heed the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God, For to You I pray. In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch."

David's song is full of passion and expectancy. Faith is the assurance of things not yet seen. David was not considered righteous by his deeds, but by his faith He was/is justified. I love that even the great David knew where his authority and help came from, not from himself, but from Jehovah. He didn't wake up each morning and fear man, but he trusted in His God to see His prayers come to fruition. He not only knew that God heard him, but knew that his God was going to do something each day.

So many times I don't wait eagerly for the Lord to do something, but He is on the job each day helping me through the day. I refuse to live a life of loneliness and depression, and when I come to face these two hurdles in life, more times than I would like to, I must know that my God was/is/will be with me throughout my life. Whether I feel Him or not, He is always there ready to meet/comfort/discipline/love me. He just wants to be with me, that is one of His greatest desires...that we would stop worrying about the worldly things that entertain our thoughts all the time and focus our thoughts on Him. He longs for His people to love Him and to know Him. How magnificent is our God!? He also longs for His people to believe in His promises. I'll cut to the quick now. John 16: 23-27 and Mark 11:22-24 Jesus wants us to believe in Him and that He was sent from the Father to redeem us. But this is more than just a salvation message...God wants to give us things because we are His children, and how can we receive if we do not ask.

I'm at my mom's right now and she's buying me stuff left and right. She actually gets frustrated when I ask her..."are you sure you want to give this to me?" She loves me and wants me to have the things that I desire...how much more will our Father in heaven give us things that we desire. Whether we ask for more patience or a car that works. Our Father loves us and wants to give us good things. What an insult to not ask God for something just because we think to ourselves..."God would never give me this or that..." So one thing I am learning is to ask in faith. Pray that I would use the faith I have, so that God would give me more faith. I won't hide my motives from you. When I pray/ask for someone to be healed...I want God to heal them. If I ask for someone to feel the love of God for them, I want them to literally feel God's love for them. When I pray for someone's salvation, I want God to save them. I want my prayer of faith to benefit others, not just myself. I want whatever I do, in word or action, to be representative of Jesus. He is certainly more than enough for me. Never refuse to ask God something, because you don't think He'll say yes. --- For as many are the promises of God, in Christ they are "yes." (2 Corinthians 1:20) Seek out His promises...ask and receive that your joy would be made full. God bless you abundantly and give you the desires of your renewed heart (Ezekial 36:26).

I pray these words would be an encouragement and challenge to you. To God be all the glory and praise, Amen!

Support Email Sent 07/01/08

2008-08-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys and Gals,

I hope all is well on your end, I'm doing amazing. I attached some pictures of my teaching days at Prescott High School. I wanted to remind some of you guys and tell others about a trip I'm taking this fall. Attached is my prayer/financial support letter. I'm going on a missions trip to Moldova and Armenia after a month of training in Springfield, MO. The organization I am going with is Convoy of Hope, and there are 11 or so people going. This internship runs from Sept. 4 - Dec. 14. We'll spend a good three weeks in each country, hanging out and befriending the locals. I know God is going to create some cool stories out of it and do some amazing work in my life and the lives around me. I'm writing all of you because I know you will pray for me. Now, before you go and deny the importance of you praying for me, lets just do a little bible study.

1 Samuel 12:23 basically says that if you don't pray for me, you're a stinkin' sinnner....j/k...kinda, but really it is important to God that Samuel prayed for Israel--His people. Ephesians 6:18-19 - Even the great apostle Paul asked for prayer because He knew what happened when God's people prayed. James 5:16 - Your prayers will accomplish much, I know it. If you still don't believe me, read the book, "Red Moon Rising." I know you all to be faithful to Him who has called you out of the darkness and into the glorious light. Please let me know if there is any situations (health problems/family issues/spiritual issues) that I could pray for. I've seen my God work too much through prayer to not pray for you.

Now...I am also asking that you help me financially with this trip (You could see it coming from a mile away I'm sure). I have some deadlines in terms of money. By July 20th I need $2500 (half of the cost) and by August 25th I need the other $2500. I have saved up money most of which will pay for my loans during the next 10 months and I'll be able to use a little of this to pay for flights to and from Missouri. Now lets have another little bible study: Philippians 4:17-18 is my statement to anyone who would give to me. I love you all and would not want any of you to give to me if you didn't think you were giving to God. Yes your money will pay for my food, housing, and plane tickets, but your gift is just one of many types of acceptable sacrifices to God and it shows that you trust both Him and me in using your money wisely. My heart is that you would give to the Lord and not just me.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "Alright Bob, but how much do you want me to give?" Well, I sent out 35 letters by mail, which doesn't include most of you. I'm expecting an average of $50-100 dollars per person. This would put me short of my goal by about $1600. Now I'm not a math teacher ;) but if you divide that by 40 (which is how many of you there are) that would be a goal of $40 per person. Some of you like numbers, but I would encourage each of you to ask the Lord what to give...if it's nothing...pray more...hehe...but if he tells you $10 then trust that that is enough. If I receive extra, it will go either go towards my spring trip or to help a girl, Kisha Johnson, who will be one of the members on our team for the fall trip. I believe God wants me to go to South America during the Spring term. I am still praying about this, however, and will let you know any updates. I will keep you up to date with how my deadlines are coming along.

Thank you guys for everything and I'll be keeping everyone updated on Facebook. We will have a team web page as well, but I'll let you all know about that later. If you have any questions or just want to talk email me, call me (928) 308-1249, I don't have a lot of your numbers, but those I do have or can find, I will call soon. Hasta luego amigos.

--
In His LOVE,

Noah

Internship and Support Info

2008-08-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

So I found out a few more details for my trip...

As far as itinerary goes:

Training time in Springfield, MO: Sept 4 - Sept 22
Time in Moldova: Sept 23 - October 23
Take a Black Sea Ferry from Ukraine to Georgia: October 23
Time in Armenia: October 23 - December 5
Debrief in Springfield, MO: December 5-11
Christmas at home?
World Missions Summit 2: December 29-January 3
Unknown: The rest of my life...although I have a physics teaching offer at the school I taught at last year...but I also feel like I'm supposed to go to South America for a bit...we'll see.

What we'll be doing:
We'll be building water filters for families, befriending the lonely and depressed, and bringing purpose to directionless, joy to the hopeless, and truth to those who lack a relationship with Jesus. I believe that miracles, signs, and wonders are part of God's ministry through Christians on earth, and I know this is going to be a trip of faith, growth, and reckless love. I can't stress enough how much we need your prayers and support for this trip. You're prayers mean so much to us.

Website to give online via credit/debit card:
http://www.convoyofhope.org/go/international/financial_support

Just make sure you select Bob/Noah Hensley.

Thank you all for your support and I don't know how often I'll be able to update this site, but hopefully it will be at least bi-monthly.

Special note: We're supposed to go through Georgia-no not the one next to Alabama...pray for peace between Russia and Georgia. We may be forced to take another route.

The Call to Europe

2008-08-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

I had to decide whether or not I was going to teach again in 2008-2009. I could have, and it would have been good. However, I felt like I was supposed to do something different for a season. Something that would test my dependence upon God rather than myself. I talked to God about this tug on my heart and asked him for confirmation of this call. One night after cleaning up for a banquet at our church, God came through with confirmation. There were some posters on the wall of the different regions and continents. A tack had fallen off a top corner of the poster and was hanging over itself. I couldn't see the name of the country. In a way I can't really explain, I felt God tell me that this continent is where I'm sending you. Keep in mind this was before I even knew about Convoy of Hope. I walked over to the poster, breathed a deep breathe, and flipped the poster up. EUROPE. "Europe?" I asked God. I had felt no call to Europe before this, I knew one day I would end up in South America. But Europe. His ways are higher than my ways. A couple months later in March, my senior pastor mentioned Convoy of Hope with Rick Ryan. It just so happened that the fall internship was headed to Eastern Europe. I contacted Rick Ryan and asked him about the program. From there on, everything came together. God's given me a compassion for the people of Armenia and Moldova. I believe God's going to do some amazing things and am ready for every moment of this internship.

Teaching at Prescott High School...Final Thoughts

2008-08-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

Written Spring 08

Teaching has been one of the most challenging experiences in my life. For one, it’s made me see my numerous character flaws and inconsistencies. I’ve said so many things that I never followed through with because I didn’t really agree with what I was saying. I’ve gone from Mr. Nice Teacher to Hell on Earth in seconds. I’ve made too many mistakes and not enough apologies. I have tried to teach to the best of my ability. I know most of the stuff I tried to teach them won’t stick. Despite the bad things that I’ve learned about myself, I did find out a few good things.

To teach someone, you have to be friendly. Students tend to not listen when you are mean and insensitive. You also have to set your boundaries and stick with them. I never had training and was told that I couldn’t be my students friends. I disagree with this now. Jesus was a teacher and a friend. He knew how to do it, so I know that eventually I can learn from His example. I think it involves being a friend without compromising rules and authority. My dad is my friend, but he was also my disciplinarian. It’s the same way with Jesus. He didn’t compromise His knowledge because some Jews told Him He was out of His mind. Teaching isn’t enjoyable if you can’t be real with your students.

Math is important for many people, not everyone, but most people use math everyday. They may not graph lines or have to know how to draw a rectangular pyramid, but they do have to make change, balance checkbooks, calculate interest, report income and pay taxes, buy cars and houses, pay off credit card bills, estimate the cost of trips, save money for retirement or the newest video game, and much more. The mind is too great of an asset to waste, and the point of school is for you to learn how to use it. The point of coming to class and doing your work is to establish discipline and integrity in your life. School is what you make of it. You have to come, so you may as well get what you can out of it. There are kids in other countries who dream about public education, and yet we complain about it.

The same thing goes with life. Life is what you make of it. It could be living in heaven or hell. You have the choice to do something good for this world, to love the homeless guy on the street corner by buying him breakfast, or to do evil and scream insults at him. Either way you have the choice.

I’m not perfect, but I’ll never give up trying to make a difference in this world. Many people asked me at the beginning of the year why I decided to teach. Well, to most of them, I only gave you the half truth. I decided to teach because that’s what I believe God wanted me to do. And it now being the end of the year, I know that I was supposed to teach this year. I could have taken a well-paying job, bought a nice car and a decent house and lots of gadgets, but I decided that my students were worth more than that. I taught this year to figure out if this is what I was created to do, if this was my purpose. I know I was not even close to a perfect/good teacher, but I hope my students learned something. Math, although important is nothing compared to our God-given purpose in life. I didn’t grow up in church, but I know this that God is real and Jesus Christ died for my screw-ups and that He has a unique purpose for everyone on earth. He has an open invitation to every living soul who would call upon His name. So with that, we have the choice of making something of this life. Many waste it on smoking, drugs, and alcohol, yet others use it to make someone else’s life more enjoyable or less painful. My students taught me so much this year, more than I’ve taught them. Each one of my students is important and has a purpose on this earth and if that is the one thing that they remember from my class, I’m satisfied.

Dominican Republic Trip...this one is long...beware!

2008-08-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

Written Spring 2007

Hello my friends,As many of you have asked about my trip to the Dominican Republic, I have finally written this letter. First of all, I would like to thank you all for your prayers and support. They meant an incredible amount to our group and everyone we interacted with. I will start out with this: from the beginning, this trip was about getting to know my group more. During this past semester, I chose to invest my time with the youth group and Vanguards (a group of young adults who chose to devote one year to full-time ministry) at Bradshaw Mountain Christian Assembly. Thankfully, God did much more than bind friendships closer; He advanced His Kingdom in powerful ways. As an intro to this "short story", I'll begin with who went and the backgrounds of everyone.
Jeff Busse – A passionate man who is busy seeking first the Kingdom of God. He is the pastor of the Vanguards and lead the trip, I've known him for quite a while and he has helped me seek who exactly the Spirit of God is. The man that never sleeps.
David Cota – Quite possibly the funniest pastor alive. He speaks like a million different languages, including Spanish, English, Navajo, Apache, and a bunch of other Native American languages. But get this, to keep them all fresh in his head, he'll just randomly talk to things...doors, clothes, beds, the air, trees, cars. Most of the time, I'll have no idea what he's saying (nor anyone around us). It's soooo funny. He makes me laugh. He just a fun-hearted guy in general, but as well has a passion for the Lord that is great.
Matt Stazenski – A Vanguard. He is also very sincere most of the time. He is a fun-natured, mild-mannered kid who loves God and is seeking how to love Him more. His maturity and sincerity gives him the ability to lead, and needs to step out in that more.
Kelly Campbell – Vanguard. Kelly is a cool girl. She is getting ready to go to college. She has the potential to be a strong leader, where ever she goes. I do hope she steps out and takes some girls under her wing to disciple. She is a curious cat, who always has one question or another roaming through her head. Sometimes the questions are completely random, but there's usually a purpose for her asking them. Kelly is caring and gentle, the word loving-kindness describes her.
Michelle Kimball – One of the "young adults" at our church. Michelle just moved to Prescott a few months before the trip. She has jumped into the church quickly and stepped up to be a youth leader in the youth group. God has given her the spirit of a warrior and strength to overcome the enemy. Her faith is at a pivotal point, and I pray that God would push her faith over the edge, so she can never turn back.
Lee Edwards – Vanguard. I see maturity in Lee, but it is hidden behind a mask. When he takes the mask off, God can use him to advance the Kingdom through the strength and power of prayer. It's really cool to see his zealousness for the God and His Kingdom. I believe that God can and will use Him to do mighty things.
Taleaha Slaughter – Vanguard. I probably know Taleaha the least out of all the group. All I can say is that God desires her to be in greater harmony with Him, so that the unbelievers around her would see and desire the same harmonic spirit. She doesn't seem to have it all planned out like some of the others. I could be wrong in this, but I do believe God is building a character of patience and eternal gladness in her.
Sarah Biddlecome – Otherwise known as the Asian. Sarah is the only one still in high school. She is a senior that really wants to graduate and get the heck out of there. Sarah has one of the gentlest spirits that I have seen. Yet she does not let that attribute trample her love and zeal for the Lord. She is gentle and quiet (not all the time of course, but most), yet passionate and full of fervor. I'm not sure what her future plans are or if she has any yet.
Brandon Woods – Vanguard. Last, but definitely not least is Brandon. Brandon is a true example of a friend. He is willing to help out people he hardly knows. He desires friendships that go beyond "Hi, how are you doing?" He was "dragged" into Vanguards by Matt and seems like he doesn't really want to be there. I really hope that he makes the most out of these next two months. I know God will use his humor and kindness to touch many and break the hardness around peoples hearts.

Most of the vanguards have grown weary in their training. I wanted to get to know them more, so I could encourage them to spend this last part of their training running the race instead of crawling weakly across the finish line. Wow, so now I'll start with the first day and go through each day as I remember it.We left Wednesday night before spring break. We pretty much got no sleep on the plane ride there and were already dead tired. Flying in to the Dominican Republic, you could see the beautiful coastline, with bright blue water splashing up against the rocky shore. It was fairly amazing. We had no troubles with baggage or logistics (thanks God). We found our ride and I started learning Spanish all over again. It was quite entertaining, I probably knew the most Spanish, besides Pastor Coda, out of everyone in our group. I could barely communicate with those who only spoke Spanish. But with those who spoke as much English as I did Spanish, I could make decent conversation. Anywho, the first day was fairly easy. When we exited the airport, the humidity and heat hit us. I thought it felt fantastic, although the others weren't so thrilled. We helped set up a backdrop for the Congreso de Adolescentes 2007 se llama "One Way" (Youth Convention 2007 they called "One Way") It tested our teamwork right away. We all had an idea on how to put up the backdrop, but eventually boiled it down to one way...duct tape. The hotel we slept at was comfortable and cozy. It was close to the library where the convention was being held (within walking distance). It was also close to the presidential palace.

So another tangent...there were armed guards pretty much every other block. All of them carried shotguns. I guess their tactic was: if a culprit is too far away from one soldier, then that means he/she is close enough to another soldier. It also sounds like the people there are vigilantes and take care of their business their way. This was expressed one morning when three men where chasing another man yelling, thief, thief in spanish. Only Pastor Coda was there to see.

The next morning we woke up, I had a cold shower. And none of us slept all that well. Jeff getting the least amount of sleep because Pastor Coda was snoring. I slept right through the snoring, but still didn't get that much sleep. After we woke up on the second day of our trip, we were served eggs over-medium with ham and toast on the hostel porch. We prayed and worshiped for about a half-hour. Then we went to setup. The convention was to start Friday night and we definitely weren't ready. I was actually chosen to go interview and pick up the speaker for the convention at the airport. I went with a guy who spoke Spanish with very little English. But I was able to communicate with him fairly well. The speaker's plane was delayed by two hours due to bad weather, so we hung out and ate some food. I had some chicken with rice and plantain chips.

Plantain can be prepared various ways. One way is a fried chip form. They don't taste like much, but the texture is perfect and they go really good with any kind of beef or chicken sauce. Another way is a bread form with a really good dipping sauce. This was by far my favorite, I wish I could remember what it was called. There was also another way that was more dessert like. It was amazing, I'm not going to lie. It was a conglomeration of cheese, sugar and plantain. My mouth water for it, mmmmm...
I also had some delectable dessert at the airport. I tried two different dishes, one was a rice pudding with raisins sort of thing and the other was called tres leche. I choose tres leche, it was amazing as well. Three different ways of preparing milk. One was a whipped cream, one was a cream, and the other was a harder cream. Anywho it is was delicious.

By the time the speaker arrived, it was about three in the afternoon. I did a quick video interview with the speaker and we headed back. The setup had progressed a lot by the time I arrived back at the library. Kids had already started showing up and the air was quite hectic, but not too bad. Overall the whole convention went well. We worshipped a lot, both in Spanish and when I didn't know the Spanish, I just sang the English words. It was really good. Those youth were excited for God, however, there were the few that just didn't receive the messages quite as well. It is hard to say exactly what God did through the convention, because everything was in Spanish. I didn't understand most of it.

I did meet a very cool kid called Pedro. Pedro has a heart for God and he gives all the glory to the Lord. I could tell he really wanted to talk more in-depth about God, but the language barrier did prevent it. We taught each other more of our own language, and helped each other out with communicating to others around us. Pedro ended up giving me a wrist band/bracelet. It's strung with light blue beads. He wanted it to remind me of the D.R. and himself. I told Pedro that I wanted him to take care of the children in his church. He accepted and I gave him my english bible to remember me by. I really do love that kid. We also exchanged emails and I've already made contact with him, so I will continue to communicate with him.

Friday night was a really crappy night. No one slept because there was really loud music beneath us. I slept more than the rest, but Jeff still had gotten almost no sleep by the morning. All the nights before we went to bed were fun. Because we were so tired, Brandon would sometimes just start laughing and wouldn't stop. This caused everyone else to start laughing and I think the hostel owner wasn't too happy, but eventually we quieted down and went to sleep.

Well after a non-restful night, we were at it again. Another cold shower, although we finally figured out that all you have to do is be patient with the warm water and it will come. But the cold shower did wake me up really quickly, so it was good.

I don't remember the mornings that I shared. But I had written a whole packet of Bob's insights for the trip and handed one to each of them. I knew I couldn't go over the whole thing, but the parts we did go over went well, and I pray that they actually received what I said and that God spoke through me and it wasn't myself. (I always doubt if I have anything good to say, I think many times I get in the way.) If there was one thing on the trip I could have changed, it would have been more alone/group time. We worked a lot, which was good, but one thing I learned about myself is that I need a set apart time to draw near to God everyday, or else I will start to loose my appetite if I go too long without seeking His face. Even more than once a day, and God did give me chances to step outside of the world for a while and seek him. Those times are certainly precious to me. If you would like to see my devotionals, let me know and I'll send those out as well.

So this letter is getting really long and I'll try to wrap it up. It's now Saturday. We performed our first skits and even did a few worship songs. Even though we were much worse than the band that played at the youth convention, they didn't seem to care. The one thing that is definitely different about the culture there is they don't compare talents or abilities of people or groups. They look at one group and see that they are really good. But when they see another group doing the same thing, they look at it completely separate, and respect that group whether they did better or worse. This was pretty cool to see. Brandon, Sarah, Michelle, and I shared during a breakout session about decisions and choosing the one way, which is Jesus. I spoke on the prodigal son and the old lady who gave everything she had to tithing.

We had a Q and A afterwards, where some good questions were brought up. The kids down there struggle with a lot of the same things that we struggle with in America, whether it be sharing the gospel to their friends or turning away from drinking and drugs and setting ourselves apart from the world. I wish I had more time to talk with them.

The next day was set apart for youth leaders, which was anyone from 21 and up. The Dominican Republic has never really had any kind of young adult/teenager ministry. This is a new concept for the people there. They had always viewed youth as anywhere from 12-35 years of age. So Jamie and Berly Bello (the missionaries there) started this ministry from the ground and after a few years and God's help have made a solid foundation for this type of teenage ministry. Their website is www.bellos.org if you want more information or pictures of the area. I'll be getting a cd full of pictures soon, so let me know if you want some from our trip. I'm getting tired of going day by day, so I'll hit the highlights of the rest of the trip.

Sunday night we finally got some good sleep. We woke up to go to the beach on monday. This was our day of rest and relaxation. We also met at the Bellos house. The beach was really pretty. There isn't much in the way of surfing/body boarding/boogie boarding but we did go snorkeling for a little bit. We saw some pretty cool fish, although we didn't get all the way out beyond where the water breaks. Brandon saw a sting ray a couple times, but no one else did. Brandon also got a really bad sunburn along with Matt. I burned a little, but I actually put sunscreen on...anywho. That night we ate at a beautiful restaurant built on the rocky coastline. With the waves smashing on the rocks nearby, I had a very good orange tropical fish meal with some incredible smoothies. Passion fruit is amazing. We think it could end wars if used properly. It was a wonderful night of relaxation.

At this point, I'll make another interjection. The driving down there is ridiculous. We had a crazy cab driver who almost ran numerous people over. He would speed through residential areas at night, go right through stop signs, and basically push other cars out of the way so that we could get where we needed to go. But that's how they role in the D.R. At one point there were cars traveling toward us on the wrong side of a divided highway. Amazing really. Lines don't really matter down there. The traffic just kind of ebbs and flows in a rather ridiculously harmonic way. I was amazed there weren't more accidents than we saw. At one point we saw a whole family riding on a small motorbike. (A mom, dad, older kid, and a young kid and an infant.) Their public transportation is packed. These little Daihatsu trucks would be filled with 20-30 people. many hanging off the side or sitting on the roof of the cab. But it was all good. I saw about a million of toyota corollas that looked exactly like my car down there. I must have a good car....

Tuesday was our first day of church ministry in different areas around Santo Domingo. The first place we spoke was a military school. It is wild that we could speak about Jesus in a military school. We performed our skits and Sarah, Lee, and I spoke in front of 600 students. I gave part of my testimony to them. Many people stepped closer to the Kingdom in our time at the D.R. Most of the kids there raised their hands when asked if they wanted to make a commitment to Jesus. Pastor Coda led them in prayer. After we finished, a lot of kids came up and asked for our autographs and email. One girl even asked me for my phone number, but obviously that relationship would just never work out. One girl specifically came up to Lee after the service and through Pastor Coda, Lee lead her to the Lord and she accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior. It's hard to tell, who actually made a commitment and who raised their hand to fit into the crowd. But whether it was one or a hundred, angels rejoiced that day. That night we performed at a basketball court as a follow-up to our school outreach. Many of the kids brought their families with them. There were definitely some spiritual battles going on during the next few days. But we met satan where he was at and prayed for the people there to have open hearts and minds. Again it's hard to say what actually happened in the days that we were there, I guess we'll have to wait until we die to find out. But who knows, I'll keep everyone up to date as I hear things from the DR.

Here are some writings from my journal:
"I met a person named Reignald (Rain or Carlos). He wanted me to remember him. God also showed me on this trip that he wants me to share Himself in the same way with my friends at Riddle (with the same passion that I had wanted to share my testimony with the tech school kids)."
"The wonders of his majesty are amazing. His Love is too great for us to handle. Today, I experience this. I started crying along with everyone in the row I was in. Quoting Sarah, "Jesus hit us with a crying stick." We were all thinking about different things, but at one point in time we all though about the kids that we saw that day. We prayed earnestly for them and cried out on their behalf that Satan would not lead them away and that God would intercede and bring them into the kingdom. At one point I told Sarah, "That burden is too heavy for you, you have to lay it down at the feet of Jesus." Later she told me that, as I said that, she was picturing in her mind, children being taken away on a horse by Satan, and Sarah was running after them but could do nothing to save them. In another vision on that same night, Sarah was guarding a bunch of little kids from rocks being thrown. It was a heavy night tonight, but I know that His Love will shine through even the darkest of places."
"Thank you Father for the answered prayers with protection and safety from the enemy. Prayers for unity were definitely answered, as well as prayers to use me in lives. God lined up instances where he wanted me to speak. So I did. I love all of these guys (on the team) they are muy bueno!!"

During the next two days, I saw a lot of really cute kids. They were incredibly precious and my heart went out to all of them. I cried a lot for them, we cannot pray enough for them. I want them to experience a real relationship with God. I want them to depend upon Him for all their needs. I will continue to pray for these kids and never forget them.

I'm trying to think of anything else. I definitely made closer connections with everyone on the team. I encouraged each one of them with the things I mentioned above about each person. I really want to continue to encourage each of them in different ways and I don't want to be redundant. I also don't want my words to sound forced. So you can continue to pray for me in that. My time is short, and I don't want to waste it. The trip was awesome and I know that I will spend a few years in the mission field. When, I do not know, but God will arrange that. Thank you again everyone. I hope this satisfied your questions about my trip. I obviously can't tell you everything that went on, but if you have questions let me know and I'll answer them. Laters.

My life story...most of it

2008-08-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

Written Fall 2007 – Senior year in college

On that night, I was playing kickball in the street. My dad had told me to go outside so he could “talk” with mom. I realized what was going on, but I didn’t want to accept it. How could this be happening? My parents…separate…divorce.

At that point my sister came out of the house. We hugged each other…it was probably the closest my sister and I had ever been. My friend invited me to his house. We went on the computer and he told me not to cry. What was I supposed to do, sit there, and watch him play some stupid game? I tried to subdue the tears, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t stop. My parents were screaming at each other, and there was nothing…nothing I could do. That night, the Holy Spirit acted within me. I’m sure of it. From then on, I prayed when I felt sorrowful. I didn’t even know it was called praying. All I knew was that God was supposed to be a buddy of mine, and so I talked aloud and to myself—or so I thought I was talking to myself. Asking God why, asking Him to help my parents. It wasn’t until five years later that I was baptized in the name of God and accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Even then I didn’t know what I was in for. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Erik Nielsen, a drummer in the jazz band I played with asked me to play bass for his church. After a day or two of hesitation, I accepted without knowing what to expect. Why did I accept the invitation? Was I desperate for attention—no I already had too much attention in high school. What was it then? Well, I’ve boiled it down to I wanted to make new friends and get baptized—whatever that meant. All I know is that I had never been baptized before. Each time I went I rationalized the teachings of the pastor, until I started to realize that the morals in the Bible were the same morals that I had believed most of my life. The morals my parents had engrained in me. (Now I know that the Holy Spirit engrains these morals in us through our parents and others.) I believed abstinence was right, lying was wrong, greed was wretched, coveting was not good, and the other commandments. I started to realize that the Bible explained my life, to the tee.

As soon as I started to ask God what I was doing, coincidences started to occur every week. I would make plans, the plans would be canceled and something else would come up that would help me grow with God. People would talk to me, and through them I would be convicted of my wrongful deeds and bad habits.

Then I found out who Jesus was. A savior and lord. It was hard for me to believe that this guy that lived more than a thousand years ago came as a Savior for all people so that everyone would have a chance to sit/stand/praise next to God in Heaven. That was unbelievably crazy for me to believe. But eventually I did. I would think about different aspects of life. Within days and sometimes hours or minutes, a person would tell me something that confirmed/answered my thoughts and questions. I realized the coincidences were not coincidences, but that they occurred for reasons. And because God proved himself to me by using the situations I put myself in, I now believe that Jesus died for the sins of the world and that I am saved by faith in Jesus through the grace of God.

For about a couple years or so, satan still had a foothold on me because of my unbelief in God and Jesus. I was, however, patient that my God would return to me. Hoping that all the coincidences that led me to God were not just my imagination, not just some thoughts I put together in my head to make the idea of God make sense to me. My hope was about the only thing there was supporting me. None of my friends could have said anything to me to help me find God. I loved them, but they didn’t have an answer for me. I went on top of mountains (big hills) and by Watson Lake to yell at God, ask Him questions, to find Him…and I had to do this alone. One time I was riding to the area by Cost Co. It started hailing, and I asked God if he wanted me to turn back. I was quite angry because I had finally made another effort to knock on the door and God hails on me. I realized that it could be satan trying to discourage me. So I continued. The sun came out for a little while and I was fine. Once I reached the top of the mountain, I started praying (and crying/yelling). I wanted God to show himself in a way that I could not doubt. I prayed that God would open up the heavens and to show me something that was miraculous and powerful. I wanted the clouds to disappear and a ray of light shines through with a voice that says, “I am God, I am real, and I love you…” But his answer was not exactly what I was looking for. I was there for about thirty minutes to an hour. I told Him that his only answer was raining on me, “And all you do is rain…all you do is rain. And now I’m going to freeze to death in this God-forsaken desert.” When it started sleeting I started back on my bike; my hope on the verge of being lost. But then the sky started to lighten up. I looked behind me and thought it was just my imagination. I continued riding, but then I noticed the sky start to lighten up again. I stopped and took off my sunglasses to see what was happening… a few moments later the sun came out of the clouds. My heart jumped and my spirit screamed at me, “God is alive!” It was as if God was telling me, “If you are patient I will always come to you. Not only that, but even when your patience runs out, I will be with you and shine my light on you. I will renew your strength, and you will depend upon me and no one else.” The sun was a good thing, seeing how I was freezing. I believe that God opened the sky that day. Sure it could be my imagination, but I know in my heart and soul that God created that day for me. Also, I had prayed that light would be shone on this dark place. When I came into view of the Prescott area, it was a magnificent sight. The suns rays were reflecting off the water droplets in the air and shining down on Prescott (the dark place). Needless to say it was a pretty cool experience, and brought me back on the path of righteousness.

The next summer, I fell into the sin of lust and adultery. My addiction to porn came back heavy. I called out to God multiple times, but would fall back into my sin. I asked for forgiveness, and repented of the sin, but my repentance remained fleeting and insignificant. After the summer was over, I was in deep shame and misery. I went to the school year lost and without direction. I stayed away from church and Chi Alpha, but then I went to Lake Powell. God renewed me there, and that's one time I'll never forget. I realized then that I had a choice that I must make. I could follow God and reject all the whisperings in my head that told me God didn't exist, or I could follow Him and learn all his ways. I believe this was the moment in my life that led me to pursue God with a fervor that I had never known before. From that point I started to recognize the different voices in my head. I now have a much easier time determining which voices are of Satan, which voice is my mind, and which voice is the Holy Spirit within me. The most important aspect of my growth is that I myself had no power to overcome Satan, but God in me and through me could demolish the strongholds Satan has on my life. He demolished the addiction to pornography, which was deeply engrained in me from the age of 12 or so. I haven’t looked at pornography for over a year now. The summer of 2006, I believe was my final battle that won that war. It was so easy to win this specific battle too, because of what I had learned about Christ. Shame is truly turned to victory when Christ rules our life. Not only that, God forgets our sin when we repent and turn away. This is so ridiculous…because really I can’t wait for the day that the glory of Christ so overtakes me that even I forget my past sins, whether that be on earth or when I enter heaven, I don’t know. But I do know that I’m extremely thankful for God in my life.

A Call to Holiness

2008-08-08T14:36:00.000-07:00

Philippians 1:6 – “For I am confident in this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ.”

In so many ways I want to become perfect over night. I want to wake up one morning and be incredible at bass. I want to get out on the boat and have fish jump in my boat because they want to bite my lures so bad. I want to be perfect now. God has different plans for us. He wants us to go through a process of living with Him. I don’t know why God doesn’t allow for us to be perfected the moment we are saved. Perfect means to bring to an end, to accomplish, to execute, or to complete. (Epiteleo) God wants to execute a plan in our lives. He wants to transform us, not just fix us, so that we have to be repaired again. He wants to accomplish something with us. He wants to bring to an end our pain and suffering. All of these require a process that takes time. Sometimes God sets us free from things right away, other times we really have to believe Him and seek first His kingdom to be set free. God chooses some things to be revealed and others to be kept in a secret place. But when we find that treasure in the field, a never before had freedom or a principle of the kingdom of God that God had kept secret until now, we sell all we have. We give up everything to accept and believe for that secret that God has hidden in our hearts. Examples: Wow God, look at this love I’ve found, it’s so much greater than the love of the world, it’s not flashy or fancy, but it genuine and real. I can feel You when I think about this type of love. God I’m going to sell everything that’s in the way of me having this love. I’m going to leave behind family and friends to chase this love you have for others. I want to LOVE like you do Lord. I’m telling you, we have to sell the things, emotions, feelings, desires for the things in this world in order to purchase the things in the kingdom. You cannot love both riches and God, you have to choose one or the other. Maybe you have to sell a couple relationships for a while in order to purchase a new order of relationship with Christ. Maybe we need to sell our temporary happiness (not necessarily joy) in order to deepen our relationships with others…in order to mourn with those who mourn, knowing that by doing so we suffer with Christ. Maybe we need to sell our feeling of loneliness and purchase some time to spend with family members that we have in Christ. To begin a journey is to make a decision. Nothing is sold that is not first marketed in some way. There is a process in giving up things that hold us back from God. Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it takes years. I've realized that perfection is a process and that to begin means there will be an end. Being perfected means we are imperfect, but will eventually be perfect. Paul said he had fought the good fight, finished the race, and knowing that his death was imminent, found peace amongst turmoil. He was perfected in suffering, not happiness. Do we choose to be happy rather than to be Christ-like? Would we choose a life of ease rather than to experience what Christ experienced and to know the reward of His sufferings? How great of an opportunity to suffer with Christ and to bear a burden of those who are weighed down? How beautiful to love in an unfathomably real way?

"But we all, with unveled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."
- 2 Corinthians 3:18

A New Creature

2008-08-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone." - Romans 12:14-17

"Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me." For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction..."
- Romans 15:1-4

"For, I think, God has exhibited us apostles last of all, as men condemned to death; because we have become a spectacle to the world, both to angels and to men. We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are prudent in Christ; we are weak, but you are strong; you are distinguished, but we are without honor. To this present hour we are both hungry and thirsty, and are poorly clothed, and are roughly treated, and are homeless; and we toil, working with our own hands; when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure; when we are slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become as the scum of the earth, the dregs of all things, even until now."
- 1 Corinthians 4:9-13

"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more. To the Jews I became as a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law though not being myself under the Law, so that I might win those who are under the Law; to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, so that i might win those who are without law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some. I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it."
- 1 Corinthians 9:19-23

"we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you." - 2 Corinthians 4:8-12

"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ....For each one will bear his own load." - Galatians 6:2,5

"Now to Him who is able to do far more than all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21

"With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints..." - Ephesians 6:18

"But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Bretheren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:7-14

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." - Colossians 3:12-17

"We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preseved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass."
- 1 Thessalonians 5:14-24